The List is Never-Ending

It's been recommended that I start a special man-candy blog.  I've been told I have a talent for finding yummy men.  I'll give it to you straight, ladies...  I AM BOY CRAZY!  I always have been.  This Future Ex-Husbands List has been in the making since my youth.  The top 3 are never changing, but I am ALWAYS adding.  I'm happy to share it with you.  I love that my hormones are being validated by others!  Hahaha!

Because I don't want to alienate my male followers, a few weeks back I began including a link I affectionately call "Throwing Mike a Bone".  This is named for my first (and incredibly loyal) male follower.

So, here it is, my hotty of the week...

Jonathan Rhys Meyers

Yummy, brooding Irish man.

He's apparently on some show called The Tudors.  He plays King Henry?  I think...

He is also in a little movie called August Rush - with Keri Russell from Felicity fame.  He sings and plays guitar in that movie...  Here's a link.  His singing voice is as delicious as he is!

Anywho, hope you enjoyed the musica...  Here's on more shot of the yummy Future Ex-Husband of the week!  See you all tomorrow!

Happy Sunday

P.S. Mike here's a little Rhona Mitra for you...

A Bird, A Pie, and Some Crazy People

Ahhh, Thanksgiving.

It's the time of year that we are mandatorily required to give thanks to the abundance of blessings that have been bestowed upon us over the last year...

I promise, I am not going to be a buzz kill.  There are so many things I am thankful for.  Health, home, family, blah, blah, blah.  The holidays are a really weird time of year, in my book.  My family is spread out, most of the people I would choose to spend the holidays with are in Chicago.  I miss them terribly, and haven't been able to spend a proper holiday with them since being laid off in April 2008.

 My mother lives in Florida.  I did spend a Christmas with her about 5 years back.  I had surgery a few days prior to Christmas, so the kids and I flew out there so she could help me with them while I recovered. (Yes.  You read that correctly.  I had surgery, THEN, with my single mom income, paid for 3 tickets to Florida to have my mother help me with my then 4 and 5 year old children.  She did not come to me.  And yes, I flew with both of those kids, by myself, the day after surgery...)  I am annoyed about how little she is able to participate in her children and grandchildren's lives unless we come to her thankful that she kept them entertained while I stayed in bed for a few days recovering.

Redneck Brother and his wife live about 15 minutes from here.  That is where my monsters and I will be spending Thanksgiving this year. My brother is an amazing cook (but you can't tell him that, because his already inflated ego gets totally unbearable), and I'm looking forward to eating there.  The family dynamic and interaction part should be just short of torture, however.  My brother has VERY little patience for children.  In addition, he is bossy, demanding, and believes that all things in this world should be done HIS way. (Or else you're a raging idiot and should be killed.)  I don't exactly do anything HIS way. (Partly because I think he's dumb, and partly because his way is stupid. -Is that redundant?-)  So in order to have delicious food I didn't have to prepare, and in an attempt to "spend time with loved ones", I have spent the last few days preparing myself for criticism on my parenting, criticism of my children's behavior (predominantly  The Girl's - who as we know, has multiple behavioral health diagnosis and is medicated), an intermittent stream of suggestions on how I can be a better me, and being barraged with stories of why my brother and his wife are far superior to the rest of the world. 

I hope that everyone in bloggyland can find something to be thankful for, despite poor financial or employment circumstances, despite crazy family, despite illness, despite anything that may be bringing you down.

I am thankful for my rotten children.  They may be a handful, but they are all mine.  I love them to pieces and can't imagine my life without them.

I am thankful for my home, for having some work (even though it isn't full time of glamorous, it's income), for friends - great friends, who I turn to before the crazy people I call family any day!  I am thankful for my family, despite their shortcomings, I love them.  Which is why I put up with them and they put up with me.  I am thankful for good health.  I and both kids are physically well and I am so grateful for that.  I am also thankful for all of my bloggy friends!  You guys are awesome and contribute soooo much to my sanity!

Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and I will see you again on Sunday!

Move Over Mike Rowe, I've Got My Own Dirty Jobs Right Here

The new garbage disposal is installed!!!

There are no leaks!

It works!

I did it myself!!!

P.S. Did you know you have to wire the power supply on those yourself?  Unreal!  Who sells an electrical item without a power cord???  Good thing the cord on the broken one works!

P.P.S.  The best way to remove an old, corroded, stuck garbage disposal is to get really frustrated and pissed and then kick it one time really hard.  It comes right off...  It's a bit messy, but it does the trick.

P.P.P.S.  What kind of small handed, super strong circus freak installed my old garbage disposal?  The nuts I had to losen required brute strength and fitting my hands into ridiculously tight spaces.  Talk about irritating.

P.P.P.P.S  I think I would have been far less frustrated if my own personal hover craft (The Boy) would have kept his mouth shut and stayed out of the kitchen.

Glamorous

I mentioned the other day that my home is currently a plumbing nightmare.  Ugh.  It's times like these I wish I had a husband...  Ok, not really.  Maybe just a useful man in my life to do these "man job" kinda things.

 My garbage disposal is  broken.  Despite having told this to my rotten, ungrateful, messy wonderful children, that drain has ended up a smelly, clogged breeding ground for fruit flies.  Gross doesn't even begin to cover it...  It is even more fantastic when I run the dishwasher.   So, 1 drain auger and a bottle of bleach later, I have purchased a new garbage disposal. 

I'm a do-it-myself kinda girl.  Most days.  I was all motivated this morning to read the instructions for garbage disposal replacement and get this problem fixed. 

This is a basic diagram of a garbage disposal set up.  Doesn't look too complicated, right?  Well, let me tell you a thing or two about garbage disposals.  A.) There are a lot of freaking pieces.  2.) This isn't just a 10 minute job.  Grrr....

Something tells me this won't be getting done today.

Did I also mention that my toilet in the master bathroom isn't draining?  It's amazing.  Even better, NO ONE knows why!!  Really!  So on Friday, I sat on my knees, if front of the toilet, feeding a 10' drain snake down the hole.  Guess what I found.  You'll never guess... 

Q-Tips!!!

Yeah, there are Q-Tips stuck in my toilet drain.  The best part is, according to The Girl, the cat must've done it.  Yes.  The cat.  I can see it now.  She was pissed that the kids didn't do their chores (shocking) and her litter box was smelly, so she opened the linen closet, got the Q-Tip box, and systematically threw an entire box of Q-Tips into the toilet one Q-Tip at a time...  And then, SHE FLUSHED IT!!!  ALL BY HERSELF!

The drain snake didn't quite do the trick, so now I have to go back to the hardware store, buy a wax ring, remove the toilet, and clean the drain that way.  Don't be jealous.  I know it's glamorous.

Tasty Sunday Treat

I admit, I am a slacker. 

I have been spending a lot of time snuggled up and sleeping in this weekend.  Work was busy the last two nights, which is good for the pocket book, not so good for weekend blogging.

That said, my weekend partner in crime, Miss Thang, and I were talking about super hotties worthy of the list last night (between Jag Bombs and tap beers) and I remembered how HAWT Taye Diggs is...

So here he is my friends, in all of his yumminess...  Eat it up and enjoy your tasty Sunday treat.  I'm having a Girl's Afternoon with some ladies from work and The Girl...  Chock full of appetizers, New Moon, and mongolian BBQ...

P.S. Mike, this link is for you!

Here's Taye!!

Yum

Yummy

DELISH

Coffee and Laughs

Today has been interesting.  BFF says it's insulting, but I think it's freaking hilarious.  It just goes to show that perspective is in the eye of the beholder.

BFF came to town last night.  She is picking up her kids this afternoon for a week of parenting time.  I'm excited for her.  The last almost 2 weeks without her kids has been a rough one.  Soooo, this morning, after I dropped off a pile of kids at school, I went over and picked her up to go have coffee. (YAY!!  I miss her so much!)  I pulled up and she was sitting outside waiting for me.  Grey Hollister hoodie, Big Star blue jeans, and black Ugg boots.  I laughed.  Why?  Because what was I wearing?  Grey Hollister hoodie, Big Star blue jeans, and black Ugg boots.  LOL!!!  Great minds think alike.  I love her.

This is me and BFF 2 summers ago at our friend's bachelorette party.

So, after coffee I had to run to the hardware store.  My house is currently a plumbing nightmare.  I have a clogged bathroom sink, a toilet that doesn't drain when flushed, and a broken garbage disposal causing another sink to back up.  YAY!  (Grrrr...)

On my way to the hardware store, a car pulled up along side mine and slowed down.  I glanced over and the driver looked familiar, but I didn't recognize the car, so I continued on my way.  As I pulled into the parking lot of the hardware store, my phone rang.  It was a man I "saw" for a while in my 20's.  Apparently it was him in the car next to me...  We said hello, talked for a few minutes about how long it had been since we talked, and said we'd talk again soon.  No harm done.  Moving right along.  As I'm walking to my car, my text messaging went off...  It was the man from the car.  The following is the conversation:

Him: btw i was serious you did look really good

Me: thanks. call me, we'll talk soon

Him: i wish i had more time id take u to lunch

Me: you're funny

Him: thanks

Me: lol.  you are welcome.

Him: do u have time to meet me for about an hour?

Me: sure. i guess

Him: ur not even going to ask why?

Me: ok. why?

Him: bc i want u

WHAT!!!!  Did that just really happen!?!?!

Me: ugh! what am i, a hooker?

Him: no!

Me: you kill me

Him: so now you dont have time?

Me: not for sex

Him: shoot

REALLY?!?!  Do people just stop what they're doing and go hook up like that?  Unreal!

So... BFF thinks it's totally insulting.  I think it's hilarious.  I suppose had I ever had feelings for this person and years down the road he was just turning to me for sex, I'd be hurt.  But that was really ever the nature of our "relationship" years ago...

Not My Kids

I will never claim to be the perfect mother.  I am so far from it.  In all honesty, some days I wonder how we all made it through alive.  I'm not even kind of exaggerating.  Don't get me wrong, I love my kids.  They are my everything.  That doesn't me there are days that I don't like them.

The Girl has multiple mental/behavioral health diagnosis.  She has been in both in and out patient treatment facilities.  We have done trial and error with every schedule II drug known to the pharmaceutical community.  (I think we have finally found one that helps.)  I have literally had my ass kicked by her multiple times, have called the police on her more than once, have had the police called on me, and have been with her to many, many, many therapists.  As frustrated and angry, as hurt and heart broken as I get with her, there is no limit to how far I will go to keep her safe.  She is my world.

The Boy is a narcissistic know it all with zero humility.  He is witty, smart, funny, loving, and infuriating.  Although the problems I have with him pale in comparison to those with The Girl, they are still overwhelming.  He reminds me of me.  A lot.  He can be sharp tongued and nasty, but again, there is no limit to my love.  He is my world.

On Tuesday nights, I babysit the two children of Fab Mama, one of the women I work with...  My home is also frequently Kid-a-Palooza.  The Girl's BF lives across the field from us.  The BF has an older and a younger sister who also spend a ton of time here.  I adore these girls.  Their mother, on the other hand, I'm not so sure about.

Every school morning, the BF comes over around 7:00 a.m.  We do not have bus service to our school, so I drive my kids.  The BF was supposed to be a walker, but since I am already going that way, I offered to drive her.  A couple weeks into the school year, she started asking for rides home, too.  Except that home was my house.  Often times she (and her older sister) are here after school.  At least 3 days a week, the little sister gets dropped off here around 5:00 p.m. to play - by their mother. 

While I am fine with all of the kids playing here, the mother has not really ever spoken with me about this.  Every morning, I feed her 4th grader breakfast.  Several days a week, I serve as an after school play center for her 4th and 6th graders.  In addition to that, she drops her 4 year-old off here when she comes home from work.  There is no communication regarding when the girls should come home, and many days they all eat dinner here.

Tonight, the 4th and 6th grader are spending the night.  The 4th grader has come down a few times complaining of a headache.  I have called the mother, I have texted the mother - multiple times.  She has not responded once.  WTH!  How can I in good conscience give any medicine to this poor girl if her freaking mother won't call me back?!?!?  I'm pissed!  I don't want to not let these girls into my home because their mother is a flake, but she needs to call me back!!! 

I'm hoping that someone out there in the blogosphere can offer me up some advice....

And I Am Still Alive

I think I've fully recovered from the weekend.

Wow.

On Friday night, I closed at the bar.  It was a bit nuts.  I ended up staying at The Man's house.  Let me tell you, I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.  The Boy had gone camping this weekend and The Girl spent the weekend with her godparents, so I didn't have to wake up at any particular time Saturday.  Wow.  Did I take advantage of that.  I think it was around noon when we finally pulled our butts out of bed.  We did a late brunch, hit up the local Target Boutique, and I went to my adorable nephew's 3rd birthday party before going into work at 5:00.

Saturday night at work was INSANE!  There were two 40th birthday parties for some guys that went to my high school and there were a million people I have known all of my life there.  NUTS!!

After work, I met my girl Dar out to see a Styx, REO, and Journey cover band.  It was a lot of fun, and once I figure out how to post a video (hint hint), I have a HILARIOUS video of some killer dance moves.  The Man and his roomies needed a ride home that night, so I stayed at his place again...  BUT  I had to be up super duper early to meet some friends for the Minnesota Vikings game. 

Hahahahahahaha!!!  I heard the Vikings won...  "What?!?!  Were't you at the game?", you ask.  Why yes, I was.  Full up with many screwdrivers and beer...

Me and Glamour Girl before the game at legendary Hubert's.

Me, after the game...  Headed back to Hubert's.

To put it mildly, we were train wrecks.  The Man happened to also be at the game with his friends.  He decided that Glamour Girl and I were in no shape to drive...  Even after the train ride back to the car...  So he left his friends and came to rescue us.  He rode the train back with us and drove us home...  Our hero...

He made it back to my house sometime during the Pats game.  Although I was passed out in my bed, I had the game on and was continuously waking to hear the game.  WTF happened?!?!  They lost by 1!  BY 1!!!  WTH!  Grrr...  And The Man was cheering for the Colts!  Let's just say, it doesn't matter if he saved my life, kept me out of jail, and got my ass home in 1 piece, he's in big trouble, buddy...

Hahaha, I'll tell you that story tomorrow...

The Best Part of College Football

I'm a football nut.  Love, love, love football. 

When I was in Dinkytown on Wednesday night for the Bob Schneider show, I drove my the new Gopher's football stadium.  It is AMAZING!!!  I mean, absolutely B-E-A-utiful!!!

Honestly, I'm a huge NFL fan.  I love the New England Patriots.  I prefer the NFL to college football most days of the week.  I say MOST days....

Because there are days I love college football...  Well, let me clarify...  I love watching ESPN college football shows.  Well, one show...  The one with Jesse Palmer.

Yum.

I heard that he was on a little show called The Bachelor at one point...  I dunno, I guess it didn't work out so well for him.  Maybe that means I have a chance...

What I do know is that he used to play football for a little team called the New York Giants.  And from there, I hear he played in the CFL for a minute. Inconsequential, if you ask me...  You can't really see him with a helmet on.

Anywho, he's definately on The List.  Feel free to ogle him all you like.  The List isn't for my viewing pleasure alone...  Here's one for the road...

P.S. Mike, I didn't forget about you!

Fat Pants and Muffin Tops

I'm having a fat moment.  I can't really say a fat day, because I feel like it's lasting weeks.  I've decided that it's probably a bad thing that my belly (and sides) hang over my favorite jeans.  Something must be done.                    
                                                                          

The wonderful, nameless man I've been seeing works in a health club and keeps trying to get me to come work out.  I feel really weird about it, though.  First of all, there was a time in the not so distant past that I had a super serious case of exercise bulimia.  I was a nut!  I worked out 20+ hours a week and was never satisfied.  I have ZERO desire to become that obsessed ever again.  Secondly, I just think it would be a little uncomfortable to go work out where he works.  Don't you?  I mean, it's not like I have a membership (he has offered free memberships to three of my girlfriends, too, just to get me up there...) and I don't really want his employees to be all like, "Hey!  Isn't that the chick Bossman is dating?!"  I'm so not up for that.  AND how weird would it be to work out in front of a guy that you want to be interested in you??  I mean really?!?!  Stinky, sweaty exercise girl?  Ew.

So, after much contemplation, I have had to make some seriously tough decisions.  If I really want to lose this muffin top, I'm gonna have to make some sacrifices.  *sad panda*

1. Cut out the beer, wine, and vodka...  Ok, maybe only the sugary flavored vodka....

2. No Hot Tamales...  Or Swedish Fish...  Or candy period.  Damn it.

3. Stop eating delicious fried food (a.k.a Buffalo Wings) at ridiculous times of the night.

4. Add a little cardio to my life...  *Wink wink*  Maybe this weekend while the kids are gone would be a good time to fit that in....  I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.....

Better Days

So, I've been sporadic at best the last two weeks.  I was pretty sure my head was going to explode by Monday.  Tuesday night, after the kids were tucked tightly into their beds, I had some wine (2 bottles, ooopsie), watched some DVR'd TV (love, love, love Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends), and sorted my emotional shit...  I think...

That said, I'm back!  Last night, Bob Schneider rocked my world at The Varsity Theatre in Dinkytown.  He is my all time favorite live performer.  It's been three years since I've seen him.  I will not ever wait that long again.

Bob, rockin' the scarf

I'm not entirely sure why Ollie was in a bunny suit, BUT it made for some good laughs!

He's got skillz...  I dig it.

I'm flat broke, actually, more than broke, until Wednesday.  I think I learned a difficult lesson.  I now owe myself $1300.  I will pay it back. 

I've had no health insurance since October 1.  I need to get my but in gear and get all of my paperwork in the mail so insurance can be reinstated.  In addition, I am committing to myself to get any registration info in by December 15 so I can go back to school in the spring.  This fall has been an all time FAIL in productivity and I need to get myself back on track.

I did some bartering with a friend and now have a new water softner, chest freezer, and a keyboard with amp for The Girl for Christmas.  The Boy really wants an XBox.  I think, since I've pulled my head from my ass and will be more careful with my money, I will be able to swing it.

Glamour Girl is taking me to the Vikings game on Sunday.  That should be a blast.  The Boy is going camping this weekend with Cub Scouts (I need to go get him some extra gloves and hats.  It's his first winter camping experience!  I'm excited for him!), and The Girl has a hot date with her Godfather on Friday night.

I've decided I really like the man I've been seeing and I need to stop being shallow and letting stupid things stand in the way of getting to know him better.  He's very different than the typical man for me.  I'm beginning to think maybe that is good, but I'm not one to put the cart before the horse.  So here's to better attitudes and better moods!!!

What Exactly is Going On Here?

Before I start, I have to tell you, The Girl just came down the stairs, ready for school, hair did and  all...  I'm trying so hard to not laugh...  She's channeling one half of a pretty killer Flock of Seagulls hair-do right now....  Hahahahahahahahaha...

I am terrible at emotions.  At some point, in the last 10 years, I stopped processing how I felt about things and just kind of went through the motions.  I've been working really hard over the last 3 years or so to do better.  I've made improvements, but emotion is still very difficult for me.

For one, like everyone, I have feelings...  I just don't know how to identify what the feeling is.   For example, after BFF had to pack up her kids and send them to live with evil, she had to pack up all of her things and leave her home.  You see, in the wake of her divorce, she has lost her home.  The Pile sabotaged her in-home business by making false and erroneous calls to the county, causing her to have a bunch of bullshit, anonymous complaints on her provider record.  This has obviously prevented her from obtaining any new daycare families and in turn has eliminated her income.  The courts ordered The Pile to pay the mortgage and utilities so his children could continue to live in their home, but he and his band of theives (lawyers) fought it and the house was lost.  In turn, BFF has moved 5 hours north to BFFE (the extra F is because it really is THAT far away!).  So where am I going with this?  Well, she's gone.  Her kids are gone.  They're all gone.  While I know she is only a BBM away, I feel like so much is missing.  I can literally count on both hands how many days in the last 8 years I have gone without seeing her.  What am I feeling?  I have no idea.  Is loss an emotion? 

In addition to loss, I'm mad.  I think.  I'm mad about the injustices that have been committed against BFF and her children.  I'm down right pissed off.  It makes me furious that a person like The Pile, and the sociopaths that are his family, have been given the opportunity to ruin these children.  And it's all because of the touchy feely mentality that wants to keep dads involved.  Granted, as the parent of fatherless children, I am all for involved dads, but not ones like him.  He is a poisonous toxin of the worst kind and has NO business being responsible for children.  (For the record, I felt this way all the while I knew him, not just since BFF came to her senses and tossed his pathetic ass out.  I didn't keep my feelings a secret, either.)

Another part of me feels grateful; and maybe a bit guilty for feeling grateful.  Is it wrong to be grateful that the crackhead I called my husband is dead?  I mean, I'm grateful that I don't have to share my children with him.  I am grateful that they cannot have their hearts broken by his impossible promises, his narcissism, his controlling demons, and his habit.  Is that so bad?  Is it wrong that I'm grateful they don't have to be torn in two by a love for someone who only has their best interest in mind and a love for someone that would only use them as a pawn in an effort to advance his own agenda?  Because that is what I see happening to BFF's kids.  They actually feel guilty for saying things that would hurt their dad's feelings.  Her 11 year-old actually believes that it is HIS RESPONSIBILTY to keep his dad clean and sober!!!!  I am outraged.  And I am grateful.

This truly only scratches the surface of the knot I feel forming in my stomach.  Not everything I'm feeling is icky.  I have been spending increasingly more time with the man from work (still trying to come up with a name...  anyone?).  I think that I like him.  I haven't noticed any red flags.  I haven't come up with any deal breakers (well, he rips on the Patriots, but it's not a serious offense).  The only things I dislike are shallow and unimportant.  He seems really great.  But with thoses feelings come feelings of confusion and fear.  There still has been no talk of status or boundaries.  I'm confident I will avoid that as long as possible.  It's just too much for my limited emotional comprehension to process at this point.

Then there is Redneck Brother, his wife, and my mother.  Ugh...  I don't even know where to start on these people.  Honestly, that story is a whole other Oprah.  But there are thoughts and feelings involved there that I am having difficulty processing, too...

I have found blogging to be very theraputic.  While I strive to have posts that are more content rich (with facts or humor), I find that the comments you leave give me a perspective I require to digest these emotions I'm not sure of and help me to figure out what exactly I am feeling and how to deal with it.  Thank you for that.  I promise, once I get myself sorted, the "old me" will be back in force.

I Just Don't Get It

I'm struggling right now.

There's something I just can't wrap my head around.  The more I try to sort it out, the more frustrated I get.

BFF is winding down a very nasty divorce process.  Her ex is a pile of shit.  And that is being generous.  In the 10 years I have known BBF, she has run an in home daycare.  That's actually how we met.  She was my daycare provider.

In those 10 years, I have never know The Pile to have a job.  He is a drunk and a marijuana addict.  He physically and verbally abused my BFF.  He has always been very stand-offish with me, because he knows that I know what he really is.  He is unkind to my children, especially The Girl, and gets very confrontational when I call him out on his bad behavior.  He is a sorry excuse of a husband and provider and a very poor and inadequate father.  BFF has two restraining orders of protection against him (both of which is has violated, been charged for, and is on probation for).  He has no driver's license due to multiple alcohol related infractions (and can't get one until at least 2012 - IF he keeps his act clean) AND he lives in his mommy and daddy's basement.

So, back to my original statement.  I'm struggling right now.  Here is what I am struggling with.  How does a man (I use the word VERY lightly) with such amazing qualities recieve custody of three minor children?

I sat with BFF this evening as I watched the paternal grandfather (because The Pile a. can't drive and b. is not permitted on the property due to said restraing orders) load vehicles with the belongings of three children I love like my own, wondering how on Earth this could be allowed to happen.  This person, who has threatened the lives of people I love, has put BFF's head through a wall, has told his children that they don't have to follow rules and to tell their mother to eff off, how does he get custody?!?!  What the hell is wrong with our family court system that could allow this to happen?!?!?

At what point did the system decide that it is better for children to be raised by a person that can't even take care of himself than by a mother that has been home with them every day of their lives?

At what point did the system determine that a sociopathic, drunken pothead with depression and the inabilty to hold a job is a better primary caregiver than a person that has been licensed by the state to run a daycare, has been the only parent to ever go to conferences, has been the caregiver for the children when they're sick, sad, or otherwise in need of attention?

It saddens me to know the life ahead of these children I love so much.  As I held my sobbing BFF, as her children were driven away I myself cried and wondered how can this sort of thing happen.  I know it is only a matter of time before he fails miserably.  Whether he realizes that parenting isn't all fun and games when you actually have to provide for your children or whether he falls of the wagon or gets caught driving without a license...  It's truly only a matter of time.  But is it worth jeopordizing the mental and physical well-being of three innocent children?

Like I said, I'm struggling...

Didn't We Meet Last Night? (In My Dreams...)

The Girl is into all of those crime shows.  She DVR's CSI and all things like it.  So, the other night while flipping through the plethora of syndicated tv she has chosen to clog my DVR memory with, I came across the show Criminal Minds.  Having never seen it, I decided to check out what more she has decided fill her mind with.

Am I glad I did!!!!  Holy Hannah!!!  I forgot how freaking HOT Shamar Moore is!!!  WOW!!!

Here's a visual in case you happened to forget as well...

Can you say, "Damn!"

Mind you, I'm a fan of a man that can be versatile.  So if he can rock the leather pants, shirtless in the Great Outdoors AND rock the shirt and tie....  Well, let's just say that gets the salivary glands working overtime!

A casual look is always a plus.  I mean, normally you have to wear a shirt when out and about.  And truthfully, even though a sharp dressed man is a perfect accessory, I like a man that is comfortable in jeans and a comfy shirt...

Heck, who am I kidding!?!?!  With a body like that, this is really the only way I need to see him.....

P.S. I promised a friend I'd throw him a bone, so Mike, this one is for you...

It's Raining Men!!!

Miss Lucinda and I hit the town on Saturday night.  After I did the Trick-or-Treating rounds with 10 kids.  She dressed as a 50's housewife (think I Love Lucy, red hair and all!) and I dressed in 50's rockabilly. (It's Minnesota, folks, not the west coast.  It's the only time of year I can get away with rockabilly around here!)

Soooo, Miss Lucinda recently moved from the small town where I grew up to St. Paul.  We decided to take advantage of this and hit the St. Paul bars for Halloween.  We had so much fun!

First of all, it was so nice going out and not knowing everyone in the place! (Having grown up in and now bartending in said small town, it's difficult to move 3 inches without knowing someone.)  We were able to talk without interruption, dance without everyone jumping in, and have a "girls night" without any local drama.

The best part, though, was the new variety of eye candy!  I've decided the reason dating has been so difficult is because the majority of fish in my small pond are totally undesirable, familiar faces.  Boy, was there ever variety!  We met men from Morocco, Spain, Finland, and America.  The conversations were interesting and about way more than the stupid World Series (I'm a bitter Twins fan that LOATHES the Yankees.) and football (Yes, I love football, but there are more things worth talking about.).

The night ended with Miss Lucinda giving her number to super hot college Spanish teacher from Spain and me giving mine to The Karate Kid (Yummy lawyer that teaches American law in Spain part of the year.  His Halloween costume was the shower from The Karate Kid).

While we have both been talking to our respective Spanish speaking hotties, neither of us have solidified plans to seem them.  We were talking the other night about it and we both really want to, but....

As you all know, I have been spending time with a man I met at work.  While things have not been intimate, I know that he would be hurt to know I went out with someone else.  We haven't ever discussed "relationships", or where we are headed.  He has, however, made it very clear that he is very interested in me.

Miss Lucinda has also been spending time with someone else.  They too have not set any relationship boundaries, but she wants to be cautious.  She's not the type to be careless with someone's feelings. 

So for now, we choose to tread lightly...  But heres to yummy Spanish speaking men that want to take us out.  YUM!!!

Miss Lucinda

Love Is Poop

My children are brilliant.  (HAHAHAHAHA!!!  Whose kids aren't really?!?!?)

But really, any parent can relate.  Every day they do something that completely floors me. 

Yesterday, when I was picking the kids up from school, The Girl's para handed me a pile of books she had written using 3x5 index cards.  I chuckled when Miss Pauline handed these to me, because The Girl has been on a writing kick since they had a professional author in their class for Writer's Workshop all last week.

Going thru the pile, I saw various titles like: Cats, The Sun, Plouto (all items are spelled as The Girl spelled them), Cows, Fun & Me...  All very interesting topics, I'm sure you can imagine.  The one that really stuck out, though, is called Love is Poop.

Yes.  You read that correctly.  The book is called Love is Poop. 

So.....  Here's the story ! (Again, all things spelled as The Girl spelled them.)

I say Love is poop.

It never works out.

That's way I say Love is poop!

And boy's are smelley.

So make shure you have a non smelley boy.

So Love is POOP!

The End

Ok, originally I was sitting in the hallway at school laughing my ass off at how funny this story is.  But the more I think about it, I wonder, what on Earth have I taught this poor girl?!?!?!  Is she already bitter and jaded at 9?  I hope not.

I still think it's hilarious.

I shared it with all of the regular customers at work tonight.  We had some good laughs.

I think I'm going to save it and give it to her on her wedding day....

I Have A Problem

I had to deplete my savings plan/vacation fund coin jar today.

My checking account will be -$515 if I don't get to the bank before 3:00.

ARGH!!!!!

I have a problem.  I have the money to put in there, but like I said, that requires me cashing in my coin.  I'm writing myself an I.O.U.  Hopefully I pay it back.

But that isn't my problem.  My problem is, I like to buy expensive stuff... 

I have an extensive blue jean habit.  Which would probably be okay if the jeans didn't cost $140 a pair.  Or if I could settle for just one pair when I was shopping.  Or, better yet, if I could just get it through my thick effing skull that in excess of two dozen pairs of blue jeans is MORE than enough for any woman and I don't even wear half of them so I have NO business buying any more.

But that isn't the extent of it.  I also have a make up habit.  And we're not talking drug store make up.  I think I'd be doing a heck of a lot better if I were satisfied running to the local CVS and picking up a few different varieties of Wet n' Wild eye shadow...  But no...  In the last, oh, maybe 45 days, I've spent around $300 at the MAC counter at Macy's.  WTH!?!?!?  Apparently I don't have enough shades of eye shadow.

I am a master rationalizer, too.  I keep telling myself, "You're not charging it.  You are debt free (except for the mortgage).  If you want it, buy it."  UGH!!!  NO!!!!  I need to stop spending my damn money!!!

When The Chef and I were together, he did a really great job of reeling me back in from my insane shopping binges.  It was not uncommon for me to come home with new Kate Spade or Coach handbags, or a whole pile of North Face vests in miscellaneous colors. I have an extensive collection of designer boots and sneakers.  But I have to stop.  I am finding myself falling back into an old pattern of over-indulgence and I don't like it.   

I have already made up my mind that I will not be going back to work full time (The over indulging wouldn't be so bad if I made more than a pittance bartending wage.) so I can go back to school in the spring.  So now I just need to have my head extracted from my ass and get back on the budget program. 

*Pep talks requested.  Keep my ass in line!*

How Soon is Too Soon?

Dating is exciting.  It is also complicated, over-whelming, and a lot of work.
Parenthood is exciting.  It is also complicated, over-whelming, and a lot of work.

At what point do single parents mix those two things? 

I realize there is no solid, fool proof answer to this question, but I wonder.

Fab Mama called me on Wednesday night (Thursday morning) after I got home from work.  She had to take her 11 year-old to the ER.  Due to The Sickness running rampant, the doctors advised she not bring her 1 year-old along.  Baby daddy is 100% uninvolved, so I offered to take the baby here while she took care of her sicky.  When she told me a man she had begun dating about 3 weeks ago was going to the ER with them, I was thrown.  To me, that seems WAY too soon for kids and a love interest to be involved.

Over the years, I have dated and I have had boyfriends.  I have introduced my children to a few.  As they grow older, I've become more aware of how that can effect them.  I don't want my kids to have memories of their mom going through men like water.  I also want them to understand the importance of commitment.  I don't want them to grow up believing men leave.  But I still don't know how soon is too soon?

The man I've been spending time with (yes, he still needs a name...Any suggestions?) has a son the same age as The Boy.  His son lives in Colorado and will be here in December.  He has already started talking about all kinds of things we could do with the kids on his son's visit.  Whoa!  I mean, we've only been spending time together for 2 weeks.  We don't really have a relationship status and I am nowhere near ready for him to meet my kids.  Maybe this will have changed or evolved by December, I don't know, but at this point it seems too early to even talk about the possibility.

Am I crazy?  Too guarded?  Am I being too over protective?  Am I using it as an excuse to compartmentalize and not allow him to get too close?  All of these thoughts have crossed my mind.  One of my girlfriends even went as far as to say, "When it's right, you'll know and you won't have all of these questions."  I'm not sure I agree with that either.  Anyone care to weigh in?