Saved By the List

Well guys and gals, it's that time o' the week.  It's that day when the pages of The Only Parent Chronicles are graced with the face (and often barely clothed body) of one of my awesomely gorgeous Future Ex-Husbands. 

You know, being boy crazy takes a lot of energy.  I could very easily post repeated images of my Top 3, but really, I don't need y'all loving Ryan, Adam, and Brad more than me.  So each week, I dig deep into my memory banks and search for images of men that have floated my boat at some point or another and still maintain that certain yumminess to keep me smiling.

This week, I dug deep....  Remember this guy?

That's right guys and gals, Mark Paul Gosselaar....

Or often better known as the one and only, Zack Morris.

Yum.

The amzing thing is, this teen heartthrob just keeps doing it for me.  Over and over!  Remember him on NYPD Blue (Greatest. Show. Ever.)?  Hottie!!!

And now on Raising the Bar?  Love that show!

Even rocking the silly scarf, he's yummy in my book.

What I don't understand is this,

Really?!?!?!  WTF?!?  He looks possessed!  And honestly! Who tattoos a celebrity on their body?  And a man getting Zack Morris on his leg?  Weird!  Just sayin'...

Here is the Throwing Mike a Bone portion of this post.  I tested the link this time, hopefully it does you better than Eve Mendes last week...  Soooo sorry for that.

And I Am Still Alive

I think I've fully recovered from the weekend.

Wow.

On Friday night, I closed at the bar.  It was a bit nuts.  I ended up staying at The Man's house.  Let me tell you, I think I was asleep before my head hit the pillow.  The Boy had gone camping this weekend and The Girl spent the weekend with her godparents, so I didn't have to wake up at any particular time Saturday.  Wow.  Did I take advantage of that.  I think it was around noon when we finally pulled our butts out of bed.  We did a late brunch, hit up the local Target Boutique, and I went to my adorable nephew's 3rd birthday party before going into work at 5:00.

Saturday night at work was INSANE!  There were two 40th birthday parties for some guys that went to my high school and there were a million people I have known all of my life there.  NUTS!!

After work, I met my girl Dar out to see a Styx, REO, and Journey cover band.  It was a lot of fun, and once I figure out how to post a video (hint hint), I have a HILARIOUS video of some killer dance moves.  The Man and his roomies needed a ride home that night, so I stayed at his place again...  BUT  I had to be up super duper early to meet some friends for the Minnesota Vikings game. 

Hahahahahahaha!!!  I heard the Vikings won...  "What?!?!  Were't you at the game?", you ask.  Why yes, I was.  Full up with many screwdrivers and beer...

Me and Glamour Girl before the game at legendary Hubert's.

Me, after the game...  Headed back to Hubert's.

To put it mildly, we were train wrecks.  The Man happened to also be at the game with his friends.  He decided that Glamour Girl and I were in no shape to drive...  Even after the train ride back to the car...  So he left his friends and came to rescue us.  He rode the train back with us and drove us home...  Our hero...

He made it back to my house sometime during the Pats game.  Although I was passed out in my bed, I had the game on and was continuously waking to hear the game.  WTF happened?!?!  They lost by 1!  BY 1!!!  WTH!  Grrr...  And The Man was cheering for the Colts!  Let's just say, it doesn't matter if he saved my life, kept me out of jail, and got my ass home in 1 piece, he's in big trouble, buddy...

Hahaha, I'll tell you that story tomorrow...

The Best Part of College Football

I'm a football nut.  Love, love, love football. 

When I was in Dinkytown on Wednesday night for the Bob Schneider show, I drove my the new Gopher's football stadium.  It is AMAZING!!!  I mean, absolutely B-E-A-utiful!!!

Honestly, I'm a huge NFL fan.  I love the New England Patriots.  I prefer the NFL to college football most days of the week.  I say MOST days....

Because there are days I love college football...  Well, let me clarify...  I love watching ESPN college football shows.  Well, one show...  The one with Jesse Palmer.

Yum.

I heard that he was on a little show called The Bachelor at one point...  I dunno, I guess it didn't work out so well for him.  Maybe that means I have a chance...

What I do know is that he used to play football for a little team called the New York Giants.  And from there, I hear he played in the CFL for a minute. Inconsequential, if you ask me...  You can't really see him with a helmet on.

Anywho, he's definately on The List.  Feel free to ogle him all you like.  The List isn't for my viewing pleasure alone...  Here's one for the road...

P.S. Mike, I didn't forget about you!

Better Days

So, I've been sporadic at best the last two weeks.  I was pretty sure my head was going to explode by Monday.  Tuesday night, after the kids were tucked tightly into their beds, I had some wine (2 bottles, ooopsie), watched some DVR'd TV (love, love, love Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends), and sorted my emotional shit...  I think...

That said, I'm back!  Last night, Bob Schneider rocked my world at The Varsity Theatre in Dinkytown.  He is my all time favorite live performer.  It's been three years since I've seen him.  I will not ever wait that long again.

Bob, rockin' the scarf

I'm not entirely sure why Ollie was in a bunny suit, BUT it made for some good laughs!

He's got skillz...  I dig it.

I'm flat broke, actually, more than broke, until Wednesday.  I think I learned a difficult lesson.  I now owe myself $1300.  I will pay it back. 

I've had no health insurance since October 1.  I need to get my but in gear and get all of my paperwork in the mail so insurance can be reinstated.  In addition, I am committing to myself to get any registration info in by December 15 so I can go back to school in the spring.  This fall has been an all time FAIL in productivity and I need to get myself back on track.

I did some bartering with a friend and now have a new water softner, chest freezer, and a keyboard with amp for The Girl for Christmas.  The Boy really wants an XBox.  I think, since I've pulled my head from my ass and will be more careful with my money, I will be able to swing it.

Glamour Girl is taking me to the Vikings game on Sunday.  That should be a blast.  The Boy is going camping this weekend with Cub Scouts (I need to go get him some extra gloves and hats.  It's his first winter camping experience!  I'm excited for him!), and The Girl has a hot date with her Godfather on Friday night.

I've decided I really like the man I've been seeing and I need to stop being shallow and letting stupid things stand in the way of getting to know him better.  He's very different than the typical man for me.  I'm beginning to think maybe that is good, but I'm not one to put the cart before the horse.  So here's to better attitudes and better moods!!!

Things to Ponder From the Weekend

~  Did anyone else see the Pats lay the smack down in Foxboro yesterday?  What the crap?  Welcome back to football, Tom Brady.  It took you long enough!  Wish I wouldn't have cancelled that trip!  Would have loved to watch that game first hand!!!     

~  What's with Mother Nature's multiple personality disorder?  It was B-E-A-utiful here this weekend!   Let's hope it stays this way!

~  Why does The Boy find it necessary to call me at midnight from a sleepover to come pick him up?  It's not even like he does it everytime.  Just randomly.  No rhyme or reason.  Just, "Mom, can you come get me.  I'm ready to come home."  And then other times I have to call the following day to find out if he's ever coming home.  Weird.

~  When will I learn that my body likes me better after a night of drinking vodka than it does after a night of drinking beer?  And why do I think I can still party like it's 1999?  I'm not 21 anymore,  Boy does my body like to remind me.

~Apparently purple hair and black eyeliner makes me Goth.  What the hell is Goth anyway?  One of the teenagers at work said I'm too girly to be Goth and that the person who called me that is dumb.  Well, doi...  But really?  Are there really Gothy emos in their 30's?  Get a LIFE!

~  Yes, I said purple hair.  It's purple highlights, to be more specific.  I feel pretty, oh so pretty!

~  Dream Guy made me mad for the LAST time.  Stupid man.

~  What a great weekend to catch up on my TV watching.  DVR is AMAZING!  I got to watch The Forgotten, Flash Forward, Psych, Raising the Bar, and enough Burn Notice to get my Jeffery Donovan fix for the rest of October.  (Yum!  Notice a theme? Christian Slater, Joseph Fiennes, James Roday, Mark Paul Gosselar, and Jeffery Donovan.  Hehehe!)

~  Should I say yes if the customer from work asks me out?  He seems very nice, but he reminds me a lot of the late hubby. 

So many things to ponder...

How was your weekend?

Ahhh, The List is Never Ending

I have a vivid fantasy life.  That in and of itself is why The Future Ex-Husbands List exists.

I have to crawl back into bed and watch football.  It is necessary.  But I will leave you with one of the yummys from The List...

Mmmmmmmmm.....  Colin.......

Maybe I should skip football and just crawl into the pool with him instead.

He just oozes bad boy.

Look!  He's thinking, "Are you done with that damn blog!?  Get over here and watch football with me!"

Cheers! And Happy Sunday!!

Never A Dull Moment

There are all kinds of methods one can use to pick someone up in a bar.  Especially when the one you're trying to pick up is required by means of their employment to talk to you.

Generally speaking, I'm not one to get hit on.  When I am out with my girlfriends, I serve the purpose of a bouncer at a velvet rope night club and determine which of the wanna-be suitors and/or dance partners are worthy of my beautiful friends.

There are two situations in which I have had someone buy me a drink.  A). It's someone's turn to buy a round, or 2). A guy is trying to "make a good impression" while attempting to talk to one of my girlfriends.  I find it all rather humorous.  I've always been just one of the guys, so the idea of being hit on is highly entertaining.

SO...  Friday night, I was at work, like I usually am on Friday nights.  I happened to be discussing the greatness of the Minnesota Twins and New England Patriots in the Bledsoe days with a young man sitting at the bar.  Mid conversation, a large group of twenty-something guys walk in and take over my bar.  They carry on in a loud, rowdy manner.  They were actually quite fun, but after a couple of hours they decided to hop their way on over to the bar across the street.  While cleaning up my bar, I come across this...

(In case you can't see it, it says, "This might be a little forward but I would like to get to know you more.  CALL ME - Brian 123-456-7890)

Ok, Brian is the real name, the phone # is OBVIOUSLY made up - by me.

This is by far the funniest thing that has ever happened to me while at work.  I truly did laugh out loud.  I  mean really?!?!?  That's how you pick up women?  Not only is it cheesy and passive, it demonstrates lack of confidence AND the grammar and punctuation is bad!  (Ok, I'll admit, I don't expect a literary masterpiece - especially on the back of a dollar - but if I'm gonna tear the guy down, I may as well do it thoroughly.)

The funniest part is, someone had told this guy that I literally laughed out loud at his demonstration of interest!  He came back and called me on it, too!!!  I was sooo busted!  He asked for the dollar back, said he would trade me for one that wasn't written on, if I had no intention of calling.  I certainly couldn't allow that to happen!  Then what would I show you?!?!  So I told him, "Well of course I laughed.  There were at least 8 of you in here and I find a dollar bill with a name and phone number asking me to call?  I thought it was funny because there was no way for me to know who I was calling."

I did tell him that I probably wouldn't call, so I didn't lead the guy on, but really?  If you wanted to talk to me that badly, wouldn't it have been far easier to say, "Hello."?

Time to Bust Out the Warm Stuff

Fall is my favorite time of year.  There are no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

As the air gets cooler and the leaves start to change, the world around takes on a whole new presence.  I love the way the air smells, and the crunch and crackle of leaves under my feet.

The colors of the fall flowers and foliage are warm and inviting.  Sitting outside in a sweatshirt, hat, and gloves with a hot latte watching youth football or soccer is one of the best feelings!  Fall is also an amazing time to travel.  In my lifetime, I have been blessed to see many parts of our country in the fall.  I have seen Wisconsin, Illinois, Indiana, Ohio, Pennsylvania, New York, Massachussets, Iowa, South Dakota, and of course, all parts of beautiful Minnesota.  While northern Minnesota and Wisconsin are beautiful, nothing beats the Catskill Mountains in the fall!

All Souls Church, Tannersville, NY

View from All Souls' front step

Climbing the trail to Kaaterskill Falls

Kaaterskill Falls, NY

I'm not sure if, when, or where I will be taking my fall trip this year.  Last year was Duluth, MN.  This year may bring Seattle.  I've never been to the Pacific Northwest.  If I go, there are sure to be pictures.

In the meantime, I am content in knowing I have an NFL football game to go to with longtime friends, apple orchard visits (complete with homemade applesauce, apple crisp, and apple pie), and the Trail of Terror!  Not to mention Trick or Treating with my kids and a Halloween costume party with my friends!  Really, what is there not to love about fall?