Family Rocks!

The majority of my family lives in Chicagoland.  I miss them like crazy.  For some crazy reason, I haven't been able to visit since March of 2009.  This week, I pulled my kids out of school and I headed out.  

You see, in a few weeks, my family and I will be heading out on our Big Fat Family Road Trip.  Being I just had a new-to-me engine put into my car, I decided I needed to have my dad's guys give it a once over before I headed cross-country.

Anystupidcar, yesterday afternoon, after a short visit with my super old gramma and lunch with my monsters and mom, I went to Baby Brother's house.  The monsters and I spent a few hours with Baby Brother, his wife Wonder Woman, and their four awesome boys!  My nephews are so much fun and I was so excited to play with them.

Today I spent the day with my "favorite" cousin, her three babies, my aunt, and my wanna be rockstar cousin.  It has been such an amazing day!  

As I sit here at the kitchen table in my dad's house, watching the thunderstorm brewing outside, I hear my kids laughing and enjoying time with their grandparents.  I am blessed.  I am happy.

Damn Surprise Visits

So, my parents are coming this weekend.  (In case you didn't get the memo.)  While I am very excited to see them, I'm kinda panicking.  Why?  It's been since March since I've seen them.  Usually, I go to them, in Chicago.  If I were to venture a guess, I'd say it's been 2 - 3 years since they've been to Minnesota.  And truthfully, it's probably been about 4 - 5 years since they've come to my house.

So why am I panicking, you ask?  Well, let's just say that my home is definitely "lived in".  With 3 cats, 2 kids (with broken arms the inability to pick up after themselves), and a revolving door to all of the neighborhood children (and more than that), my house often looks as though a bomb went off.  Don't get me wrong, we don't live in filth and squalor, we just don't exactly apply the "a place for everything and everything in it's place" philosophy here.  (Much to my dismay.)

My dad and step-mom?  Neat freaks.  Their home?  Museumesque. 

Now, generally speaking, I can find PLENTY to do with my folks that keep them the hell out of my house, but since I was laid off in April of 2008, I have done A LOT of redecorating in my house.  For some reason, my step-mom (who I think is incredible and has spotty memory due to a brain anuerysm 6 years ago) has remembered that she hasn't seen my home in YEARS and would really love to do an early Christmas at my house.  Had they given me a few weeks notice, I could probably have hit up the Flylady and applied some of her super intense "get your shit ready for the holidays" tips, but they didn't.  They told me on Tuesday.  Yep, 2 DAYS AGO!

Guess what!?!?  I don't have my Christmas tree up.  I don't have any Christmas baking done (my dad is a super cookie monster).  I don't have any gifts wrapped.  I don't have any Christmas decorations up.  All in all, I'm really not ready for this.

So?  My plan?  I'm sooo gonna see if they want to meet me at the Science Museum.  If I can occupy them there and wear them out, I can probably wear them out enough to have them suggest dinner out and NEVER make it as far as the suburb where I live!!! (YES!!!)  It's sketchy, but it might work!  And yes, I have a back-up plan...  They aren't planning on seeing us until Sunday.  So everyone is grounded until the house is clean(er) and The Man has been recruited to carrying the Christmas tree in tonight (SURPRISE, babe!). 

Wish me luck!

Meeting the Family?

New relationships are often blissful...

The Man (I know, not a very creative name.  Deal.)  and I have been spending a lot of time together.  I am completely smitten, and he has met my kids.  They are both HUGE fans.

The Man is divorced.  He has a son that lives in Colorado.  The son will be here on Friday.

My dad called yesterday.  He and my step-mom will also be here on Friday. 

I'm super excited to see my parents.  The Man is super excited to see his boy. 

This is where it gets scary.  The Man wants me to meet his son....And he would like to meet my folks.  Eeek!

Why so scary, you ask?  Because his son is only going to be here for 10 days.  I don't want to interupt the short period of time they have together.  The Man is sure he wants to integrate the two fams for the 10 day period as much as possible.  While I don't think it will be disastrous (far from it, actually), I'm just not sure.

As far as the "meeting the parents" thing goes - I'm totally comfortable with it. 

Okay, maybe not TOTALLY... 

We haven't really had any "relationship" talks.  While we did decide we were happy seeing only one another, we haven't really begun planning together.  Do you know what I mean?  Like, when we're making individual plans, we don't really check in with each other.  We just kinda spend time together if we have time or when it works out.  I actually can't think of a single time we've planned to do anything together in advance...

So I guess what I'm saying is, I don't really know that I see us as a couple.  And you don't really introduce your parents to someone you're just dating.  Does that make sense?

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, worrying about a whole lot of nothing.  I do know that I am totally comfortable talking to him about anything, so we will be talking this through.  Any words of wisdom or thoughts are welcome, as always.

Dream a Little Dream

"Everything that is or was began with a dream." ~ Lavagirl

Our founding fathers had a dream.  The Wright Brothers had a dream.  Martin Luther King, Jr. had a dream.  I think some pretty great things came from these dreams.

When I was a little girl, I dreamed of being a ballerina.  Mind you, I can't dance.  I've never taken a dance class in my life.  I was 3.

When I was in elementary school, I dreamed of being an actress and model.  I had head shots taken, I got involved in community theatre, I went on auditions and casting calls.  As a teenager, I even went to LA for pilot season to get experience with on camera auditioning.  My dad asked me, "What will you do for a real job?"  I stopped chasing that dream.

In 6th grade, I dreamed of one day going to UCLA.  For spring break that year, we went to Southern California.  My dad took me to tour UCLA.  To him, that was a practical dream.  He would give me news articles on women like Paula Zahn and would always tell me, "Naked people don't run the country."  (He gave me Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People when I was in 4th grade.)  Although his dream consisted of scholarships and law school, mine leaned more toward theatre programs and music.

When I was 16, I started attending the University of Minnesota.  I dreamed of freedom from my parents.  Escaping the reality of their divorce and my dad and Baby Brother moving far away.  My parents dreamed of academic overachievement and a future riddled with successes.  I drank a lot and smoked a lot.  I quit college at 19.

I look at my life today and it does not at all coincide with the dreams I had.  I love my life.  Are there things I would like to be different?  Yes.  I would like to be more financially secure.  I would like to have a life partner.  I wish I better understood ADHD, ODD, Schedule II prescription drugs, how nutrition affects the physiology of a developing brain.  I wish my kids got to see their grandparents more (which would mean I saw my parents more, yay!).  That's truly only the tip of the ice berg.  But would I change anything of my past?  Do I have regrets?  Absolutely NOT!  All of those things -the good, the bad, the ugly- make me the woman I am today, and I really like me!  Sure, I am FAR from perfect, but only one man could walk on water and I am not 2009+ years old (and I'm not a man!).

What are your dreams?  Is your life close to what you envisioned or so far from it?

Three Months And Counting... The Before 2009 Ends List

I'm a procrastinator.  Not just kinda.  Really. 

I have all kinds of good intentions (we all know by now where that gets us, according to my Dad), but always seem to find a reason to not follow through.

The funny thing is, I don't procrastinate on my commitments to others (although, I can be forgetful.  It drives BFF bananas!).  I only procrastinate on commitments to myself and my home.

It needs to stop!

So, I've decided to compile a list of things I need to accomplish before the ball drops on 12.31.09 and we welcome in 2010.  I'm trying to be realistic,  here.  But sometimes I go overboard.  So here it is:

The Derek Zoolander School for Kids That Can't Read Good
The Before 2009 Ends List 'O Things To Do:

1. Find the bar counter top in the kitchen.
2. Shampoo carpets
3. Get my laundry put away.  Don't laugh!  It's a muy serious undertaking that I haven't been taking too seriously.
4. Get to Chicago to visit Dad, Step-mom, Baby Brother and Fam, Fave Cousin and Fam, and everyone else.
5. Clean the laundry room.  I will find those dust bunny colonies and wipe them out single handedly.  Yes, I'm a force to be reckoned with.
6. Beat level 6 on Word Mole.  (Shut up.  I told you, I'm addicted to my Blackberry!)
7. Pick out tile for my kitchen and bathroom.
8. Paint vent and outlet covers (that I took down when painting over a year ago) and get them hung.
9. Replace the lightbulb in my oven...  And the one in the garage, and on my front porch, and in front of the garage, and in The Girl's closet... (If anyone has any recommendations for how to get broken bulbs out of sockets, I'm all ears!)
10. Get through the Flylady's Holiday Control Journal in one piece.

Hopefully this isn't too ambitious.  I'm hoping some of my new dear bloggy friends will help to keep me on task and on my toes...  Nudge nudge, wink wink...  I'll keep you posted!  Wish me luck!

There Was Life Before My Blackberry?!?!

My parents divorced shortly before my 15th birthday.  Upon the finalization of the divorce, Dad and Baby Brother moved to Chicago.  It sucked.

When I turned 16, my parents agreed that the best way for me to visit my dad and brother would be for me to drive there.  On my own. I wasn't even allowed to drive across the Minnesota River into Minneapolis (see "If you could change one rule your parents have for you, what would it be?"), but Chicago, here I came!

After much discussion, my parents decided that I needed some type of communication outlet in my car in case of an emergency.  After ruling out a CB radio (something about seedy semi-truck drivers and a 16 year-old, I dunno...), my mom and dad decided to venture into the new technology of...  Wait for it...  Wait for it...

CAR PHONES!!!!  (How cool is that!  At that point in my life, the only car phone I had ever seen was the one Punjab talked on in Daddy Warbucks' car when they were trying to rescue Annie from Rooster and Mrs. Hannigan!)  It looked something like this...

I know!  Cool, right!!!

Anyway, as time has passed, car phones have become obsolete.  And my inner snob required newer, greater, and cooler mobile communication methods.  After the car phone came the brick phone, then the flip phone, then (gasp) TEXT MESSAGING!  And from text messaging we've moved to having internet on our phones!! 

I've come to a sad realization.  If I spent more than a half hour away from my phone, I feel out of touch.  How on Earth did we survive before Blackberry?  Before text messaging?  Before cell phones?  And even before voice mail and answering machines?

Is there a cure for this addiction?  Will I ever be able to leave home without my phone and not panic?  I'd like to say I hope, but really, I'm not so hopeful.

Seriously!?!?! How Long Have You Been Using the Toilet?!?!

My kids do a lot of things.  Some are great, some are rotten, most are forgivable.  But honestly, there is one thing I just can't get over.

Flush the freaking toilet!!!!

Really, is it so difficult?!?!

I remember, years ago, when The Boy was potty training (truthfully, I don't remember much - BFF was my daycare provider and I think she potty trained both of the kids) he was afraid to flush the toilet.  The sound the toilet made was terrifying to him.  But really, at 10 1/2, I'm confident fear is not a factor any more.

Whenever I find the toilet in said condition, both children vehemently deny being the responsible party.  What do I have to do to get them to change this behavior?  Do I need to start hanging signs around the bathroom?  "Please remember to flush the toilet!"  Do they leave the toilet unflushed when they are at a friend's?

I remember when I was little, we had septic.  My dad had a saying that went, "If it's yellow, let it mellow.  If it's brown, flush it down." (You'll come to learn, Dad has lots of sayings.)  Gross!  I know!  But septic needs to be flushed, and dad thought that would limit the frequency in which he would have to call the septic guys.

WE DON'T HAVE SEPTIC!!  We are on a fully functional city sewer system!!! 

I guess I should feel fortunate that my kids aren't the type to throw things down the toilet, but really, they need to learn to flush.  It's disgusting and I can't stand it.  Argh...

Big Fat Family Roadtrip

I know it seems that Spring Break is a long, long time away, but really it's right around the corner.  Last year, I had the insane great idea to plan a roadtrip with the kids.  Yes, just me and the kids.  Alone.  In a car.  For 12 days.  (Insert horror film music here.)

We had a GREAT time!!!  We drove from Minnesota...

(Hahaha, this is in Miss Lucinda's front yard in Bemidji.  WAAAAY north of me.)

To my Dad and Step-mom's in Chicagoland...  Thru Indiana...

(That's the water tower in Crown Point, IN.  I was born in that town.  I took the picture as I was driving by on the interstate.  The kids thought I was crazy, but hey, I came from there...  Many, many, many years ago.)

We drove through Kentucky (I had no idea it is so pretty there!), and ended up in Nashville for a night. (Definately a place I'd like to take a grown-up trip!)  From there we went to Chattanooga, TN/Rock City, GA. 

We went to Atlanta and saw Stone Mountain, which is super cool!  If you've ever seen Mt. Rushmore, you HAVE to see Stone Mountain!  It is so much bigger!  And the coolest part is taking a Swiss cable car to the top of the mountain and walking around!  (Despite what Hollywood tells you, you can't do that at Mt. Rushmore.  Disappointing, I know!)

(Three important Confedrate guys.)                   (1,683 feet above sea level!)

From there, we spent 2 days in Orlando.  We did the usual, Disney World!  We had been there once before as a family and had a great time.  This time was equally as amazing.  Even at the ripe "old" age of 31, I LOVE Disney!  And from Disney, we headed to FarAwayGrandma's house in Ft. Myer's.

We went to the beach, spent time with MY grandma, played at FarAwayGrandma's pool, drove the golf cart, and the piece de resistance....  Went on a pirate ship!!!  Ok, so it was a commercial pirate ship manned by men dressed up as pirates, but we really went for a ride in the Gulf of Mexico, and it was super cool! (And they had a full bar and my mom was driving!!!  So I got to have a couple beers!)

On the trek home, we drove back through Georgia, through Alabama (I saw Talladega!), and Mississippi (on a road that doesn't exist, according to my dad's GPS), to Memphis!  In Memphis, we went to Graceland (which was awesome!).  Sadly, I have no pictures of that, as the aforementioned camera was new and I didn't know how to turn off the flash...  Sad panda...

We were going to stop in St. Louis to see the arch, but I decided that I was ready to get home and sleep in my own bed.  So, in all of my insanity brillance, I decided to drive straight through from Memphis (we left at 2pm) home.  Somewhere around Peoria, I decided I was probably going to need some help staying awake.  I stopped and purchased 3 Monster drinks (I don't drink energy drinks.  Yuck!) and 4 rolls of Spree candy.  I pulled into my driveway at 4am and was sound asleep in my own bed by 4:15!!!  (I had gut rot for a week after all of that sugar!!)

So, after all of that, the point of this story is to tell you that I've begun to toss around ideas for a 2nd Annual Big Fat Family Roadtrip.  The Girl wants to go to Ireland (cough, cough).  I told her if she can come up with money for airfare, I'd be happy to pay for the rest.  Otherwise, I'm trying to plan an equally exciting roadtrip for 3 to somewhere in these great United States!  Wish me luck!

A Place for Everything and Everything in Its Place

In theory, everything should have a place. In reality, theory doesn't work so well for me. I long to have a home that would make even the Flylady jealous. (http://www.flylady.net/; She's amazing and gives step by step lists and tips to keep your house clean and organized. I just have a hell of a time staying on task.) Whenever I visit Baby Brother, I suffer intense pangs of jealousy because my amazing sister-in-law (Wonder Woman) keeps a spotless house (she's a SAHM of 4 boys). I wish I knew how she did it. On days like today, I kick myself for not getting on board.

In March, having lost my camera to The Girl's sticky fingers and inability to ask permission to use things, I had to buy a new camera for our Big Fat Family Roadtrip. After countless threats on her life, I thought for sure The Girl would leave this camera alone. No such luck. (I don't know why I'm always surprised.) So, I went to use my camera today. I was really excited to take a picture of the glass bead I made this weekend (Yes, I made it!!!), for a blog I was going to write. I had the bead all set up, ready to take the pictures and WTH! The camera is flashing, making beeping noises, and doing other nutty stuff!

ARGH!!! That Girl!!!!

The Girl, in her quest to play with all things that don't belong to her, has pushed buttons and changed settings and I don't know how to fix it!!! Now, if I, like the title says, had a place for everything and everything in its place, I would simply go get my instruction manual and fix the settings on the camera. Simple. No issues. Problem solved. But I don't.

I remember seeing the instruction manual recently. So now I sit and brainstorm about it's potential location. While I'm frustrated beyond belief with The Girl's inability to keep her paws off, I'm even more frustrated that despite my best intentions (Remember what Dad says about good intentions?) I have no idea in which pile, room, or drawer this desperately needed manual is in.

Ooooh..... Maybe I saw it in my closet.....

Waiting For the Laundry Fairy

I have laundry up to my eyeballs. That isn't a figurative statement. Not only is my hamper overflowing, The Boy has laundry obstructing the entry of his domain (and stacked as high as his bottom bunk), and The Girl has no clothing-free space on her floor. It doesn't stop there, though. In the hallway, in front of the laundry area, there are two more overflowing hampers in front of the washing machine. Did I mention the washer and dryer are both empty?

Really, in all honesty, I don't mind washing laundry. Sorting, separating, loading the washer, moving clothes to the dryer, loading the washer again... I don't mind any of that. So why? Why is there so much laundry? It's simple, really. Folding and putting away.

I am currently engaged in a seemingly never ending cycle of moving clean clothes from the bed (to fold) to the baskets (yes, multiple). This cycle has been repeating itself over and over again for at least a week. Each morning, with good intention (P.S. My Dad says the road to hell is paved with good intention.), I dump multiple baskets full (heaping) onto my bed, planning to fold them before I pick the kids up from school. Each night, I reload the baskets, removing the clothes from my bed so I can crawl in and attempt to sleep (whole other Oprah). For the first few days, I felt bad, maybe a little guilty. After all, the linen closet is completely absent of any towels. Today, however, no guilt. As I write, I am staring at the mountain of clothes, convincing myself there is no time to fold it all. Not when I have to pick the kids up at 3:00. Not when I have to work at 5:00.

I would say maybe tomorrow, but I really have no intention. Maybe Monday? Keep your fingers crossed....