Musical Piles

My mom is a pack rat.  When she defected to Florida, I ended up with years and years worth of her crap.  When cleaning my garage last summer, I literally found report cards for Redneck Brother from elementary school!  WTH!

Sadly, I see my home turning into a scene from my childhood.  Everywhere I turn, there are piles.  I have piles of bills to pay, piles of bills that are paid, piles of Girl Scout stuff, piles of Cub Scout stuff, piles of handouts from The Girl's teacher, piles of handouts from The Boy's teacher, piles of catalogs I'd like to order things from....  Ahhhhh! There are piles EVERYWHERE!

I've followed the Flylady's tips, read books about de-cluttering and simplifying, but I just can't seem to shake this terrible habit instilled upon me by my mother!

I've resolved that my problem is easily solved by real estate.  I just need to buy a house with a mud room, a den, and a basement!  All of my problems would be solved!  The mud room would house all of the jackets, shoes, boots, bookbags, and handbags haphazardly thrown around my house.  The den would be a God send!  I could have a place to keep my computer (not the corner of my bedroom!), a place to pay bills (not the kitchen table), and a place for a file cabinet (so there wouldn't be piles of bills everywhere)!  It would be GLORIOUS!  And a basement, a basement would house all of the crap the kids have neglected to relegate to their rooms...  Oh, to dream...

Ahhh, visions of dens floating in my head!

And what's this?!?!  A place to keep  coats and shoes?! B-E-A-UTIFUL!

What!?!?!?  A living room not taken over by the kids' crap!!!  It's a Christmas Miracle!

Well, a girl can dream, right?  Without a healthy fantasy life, what would I have?

There Was Life Before My Blackberry?!?!

My parents divorced shortly before my 15th birthday.  Upon the finalization of the divorce, Dad and Baby Brother moved to Chicago.  It sucked.

When I turned 16, my parents agreed that the best way for me to visit my dad and brother would be for me to drive there.  On my own. I wasn't even allowed to drive across the Minnesota River into Minneapolis (see "If you could change one rule your parents have for you, what would it be?"), but Chicago, here I came!

After much discussion, my parents decided that I needed some type of communication outlet in my car in case of an emergency.  After ruling out a CB radio (something about seedy semi-truck drivers and a 16 year-old, I dunno...), my mom and dad decided to venture into the new technology of...  Wait for it...  Wait for it...

CAR PHONES!!!!  (How cool is that!  At that point in my life, the only car phone I had ever seen was the one Punjab talked on in Daddy Warbucks' car when they were trying to rescue Annie from Rooster and Mrs. Hannigan!)  It looked something like this...

I know!  Cool, right!!!

Anyway, as time has passed, car phones have become obsolete.  And my inner snob required newer, greater, and cooler mobile communication methods.  After the car phone came the brick phone, then the flip phone, then (gasp) TEXT MESSAGING!  And from text messaging we've moved to having internet on our phones!! 

I've come to a sad realization.  If I spent more than a half hour away from my phone, I feel out of touch.  How on Earth did we survive before Blackberry?  Before text messaging?  Before cell phones?  And even before voice mail and answering machines?

Is there a cure for this addiction?  Will I ever be able to leave home without my phone and not panic?  I'd like to say I hope, but really, I'm not so hopeful.

Almost in Full Swing

As we all know, September is a month of beginnings.  In my family, September brings the beginning of school, the beginning of homework (and homework completion battles), the beginning of scouting, the beginning of fall (my favorite!), and the beginning of religion.

This year, the youth coordinator at our church sent out a questionaire for the kids to fill out prior to religion starting.  The questions were random, but great!  So, I'm going to answer....

1. If you could do something really heroic, what would you do?
Eliminate malpractice suits and insurance companies so healthcare could be afforable for all... (Think Little House on the Prairie style!)

2. What is your favorite thing that begins with the letter "H"?
I'm going to go with The Girl on this one and say HUGS

3. What are three jobs that you think might be really fun to have someday?

• Rock Star
• Food Critic
• Actress

4. If you could change one rule that your parents have set for you, what would it be?
(The Girl - she's 9 - said not being allowed to wear make-up.  The Boy said bedtime.)
I don't really remember having many rules as a kid (that I followed, anyway), but it always frustrated me that I wasn't allowed to drive north of the Minnesota River until I had my license for a year.  Really, Mom?!?  I can drive to Iowa?  Texas?  Nebraska?  Illinois?  But I'm not allowed to cross the river and go to Bloomington, Minneapolis, or St. Paul?  Brilliant!

5. Have you ever faced a bully?  How did you handle it?
I was married to a bully.  I left, at 4 months pregnant with our 2nd child.  He died when she was 6 months old.  We were still married, but divorce was inevitable had he not died...

6. If you could have any superpower, what would you have or what would you use?
Ooooh, this one ties in with Moxie Media's Writer's Workshop!  If I could have any superpower, it would be the ability to decipher bullshit and know the truth!  I would use it to determine when the kids a lying, to know a man's intentions, to know who extended the invitation when the drama llama comes to town, etc!  I would love this superpower to death, as it would safe me a lot of time and frustration in my home life, my dating life, and my friend life!

7. What is your favorite day of the year?  Why?
My favorite day of the year... Hmmm...  That's a toughie.  I don't know that it is a specific date.  My favorite day of the year is any day my amazing family of 3 can spend an entire day together having fun - and NO FIGHTING!  I love, love, love that day!

8. If you could invent anything you wanted, what would it be?
A money tree that bloomed frequently and could be harvested daily.

9. In your opinion, what is the most boring thing to do?  What is something you could do to make it more exciting?
The Most Boring...  I'm going to have to go with fold laundry.  Folding laundry is by far the bain of my existence.  I'm not really sure if it is possible to make it more fun.  Maybe if I had Mary Poppins' magical ability to play "Tidy Up the Nursery" and could change the name of the game to "Fold and Put Away All of the Laundry", then MAYBE it would be more exciting...  Maybe...

10. When you meet other kids for the first time, what is one thing you usually want to know about them right away?
Do you have an attractive, successful, and emotionally available single father?  Oh, wait!  I really want to know if they are kind to other people.  I don't like my kids hanging out with jerks.

11. If you could start your own company today, one that would be run entirely by kids, what would your business make and sell?
I'm pretty sure there are all kinds of labor laws that would not allow this to EVER happen (thanks a lot, Upton Sinclair), but a confectionary would be cool...

12. What is one thing you are pretty certain you will be good at when you get older?
I'm pretty ceratin I will still be darn good at baking (and eating what I bake) when I get older!

Hahaha!  That was fun!  You should try it!

Big Fat Family Roadtrip

I know it seems that Spring Break is a long, long time away, but really it's right around the corner.  Last year, I had the insane great idea to plan a roadtrip with the kids.  Yes, just me and the kids.  Alone.  In a car.  For 12 days.  (Insert horror film music here.)

We had a GREAT time!!!  We drove from Minnesota...

(Hahaha, this is in Miss Lucinda's front yard in Bemidji.  WAAAAY north of me.)

To my Dad and Step-mom's in Chicagoland...  Thru Indiana...

(That's the water tower in Crown Point, IN.  I was born in that town.  I took the picture as I was driving by on the interstate.  The kids thought I was crazy, but hey, I came from there...  Many, many, many years ago.)

We drove through Kentucky (I had no idea it is so pretty there!), and ended up in Nashville for a night. (Definately a place I'd like to take a grown-up trip!)  From there we went to Chattanooga, TN/Rock City, GA. 

We went to Atlanta and saw Stone Mountain, which is super cool!  If you've ever seen Mt. Rushmore, you HAVE to see Stone Mountain!  It is so much bigger!  And the coolest part is taking a Swiss cable car to the top of the mountain and walking around!  (Despite what Hollywood tells you, you can't do that at Mt. Rushmore.  Disappointing, I know!)

(Three important Confedrate guys.)                   (1,683 feet above sea level!)

From there, we spent 2 days in Orlando.  We did the usual, Disney World!  We had been there once before as a family and had a great time.  This time was equally as amazing.  Even at the ripe "old" age of 31, I LOVE Disney!  And from Disney, we headed to FarAwayGrandma's house in Ft. Myer's.

We went to the beach, spent time with MY grandma, played at FarAwayGrandma's pool, drove the golf cart, and the piece de resistance....  Went on a pirate ship!!!  Ok, so it was a commercial pirate ship manned by men dressed up as pirates, but we really went for a ride in the Gulf of Mexico, and it was super cool! (And they had a full bar and my mom was driving!!!  So I got to have a couple beers!)

On the trek home, we drove back through Georgia, through Alabama (I saw Talladega!), and Mississippi (on a road that doesn't exist, according to my dad's GPS), to Memphis!  In Memphis, we went to Graceland (which was awesome!).  Sadly, I have no pictures of that, as the aforementioned camera was new and I didn't know how to turn off the flash...  Sad panda...

We were going to stop in St. Louis to see the arch, but I decided that I was ready to get home and sleep in my own bed.  So, in all of my insanity brillance, I decided to drive straight through from Memphis (we left at 2pm) home.  Somewhere around Peoria, I decided I was probably going to need some help staying awake.  I stopped and purchased 3 Monster drinks (I don't drink energy drinks.  Yuck!) and 4 rolls of Spree candy.  I pulled into my driveway at 4am and was sound asleep in my own bed by 4:15!!!  (I had gut rot for a week after all of that sugar!!)

So, after all of that, the point of this story is to tell you that I've begun to toss around ideas for a 2nd Annual Big Fat Family Roadtrip.  The Girl wants to go to Ireland (cough, cough).  I told her if she can come up with money for airfare, I'd be happy to pay for the rest.  Otherwise, I'm trying to plan an equally exciting roadtrip for 3 to somewhere in these great United States!  Wish me luck!