River

It's been 16 long years since one of the world's brightest stars faded.  He was my original bad boy crush.  His face covered the walls of my room.  I remember sitting in the locker room of my high school after 2nd hour Phy Ed when I heard the news.  I cried.

River Phoenix...  Gone but never forgotten...

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!

This is me today.  I feel like I'm losing my mind.  I am so tired of arguing kids.  I am so tired of their nasty little sense of entitlement.  I am so tired of repeating myself.  Over and over and over and over again.  I'm tired of WWIII breaking out soley on the premise that math homework is cruel and unusual punishment.  I'm tired of walking into my living room to find it littered with dishes, cups, and wrappers from whatever they've decided to help themselves to.

The Boy was invited to a birthday party and a sleepover.  He said yes to the party and now wants to cancel and go to the sleepover so he doesn't end up a the baby-sitter's on Friday night.  My opinion - How Freaking Rude!  Am I wrong for telling him he will go to the party and go to the baby-sitter's and like it? Period.

I feel like EVERY TIME I turn around The Girl wants something.  Mom, can I have this, Mom can I have that.  Mom, buy this.  Mom, I can't live without that.  NO!!!!  Clean your freaking room for once!  Do your G.D. chores without a war ensuing!  Follow the rules of our household!  THEN...  MAYBE... I will buy you that stupid thing you want.

They are driving me insane!

I feel like everything I say about them is negative.  I feel like I am willing to do anything to get away from them.  I hate feeling this way.  I hate that talking to them seems less appealing than listening to a looped recording of fingernails on a blackboard.

Bedtime is in 20 minutes.  I just need them to go to sleep.  And I need a glass of wine.

Maybe a bottle...

And Then He Kissed Me...

Hahahahaha, when I was writing my post, this song came into my head and I had to provide the audio.  So enjoy! 

After much deliberation (and persuasion from the girls at work), I have been spending time with The Customer.  (Yeah, I know, he needs a better name, but I got nothin'.)  We spent the evening (I use the word loosely) together on both Friday and Saturday when I was done with work.  Needless to say, I was sleep deprived.  (I behaved!  Pull your heads out of the gutter!)  We also had drinks on Monday night and Tuesday night. 

I'm kind of taken a bit off guard by him...  He walks me to my car, opens doors, compliments me on my hair, my shoes, and my clothes.  And Tuesday was the first time he even attempted to kiss me.  So unlike most men.  (I discovered he has 5 sisters...  Hmmmmm....) 

Last night, while we were out, we ran into some of my girlfriends.  He was totally engaged in unprompted conversation with them.  He even invited them (and me) out for his birthday celebration next weekend...  I've never dated anyone that invited my girlfriends to hang out...  Especially only after a few dates. 

I have horseshit luck with men and have an innate ability to pick out the douchebags and losers.  Needless to say, I plan on taking this VERY SLOW.  (Especially since he is a patron at my place of employment.)  But I think I really like this guy.  He's funny and kind and he reminds me a lot of the man I married (the sober, un-narcissistic version that made me laugh hysterically and I really enjoyed spending time with).  With the exception of having poor taste in favorite sporting teams, he seems too good to be true....  Here's hoping he's not!!!

What to Do With All of That Candy?!?!

It's the final countdown to the greatest day of the year, according to me...  HALLOWEEN!!!!  Unfortunately, in the wake of the greatest holiday ever, I find myself at war.  With all of the loot candy the kids have collected, I find myself arguing and rationing acceptable daily allotments and often times bust The Girl for sneaking more than I feel she should have in a day.  Grrrrr...

This year, however, that will NOT be the case.  Why, you ask?  Because if there is one thing The Girl likes better than candy, it's MONEY!!!

It was brought to my attention early this week that there is a really SWEET program called Halloween Candy Buy Back.  This program buys candy from kids under the age of 12 for $1 a pound (up to 3#)!!!  How sweet is that!  In the Twin Cities area, where I live, Metro Dentalcare is hosting this program at 13 of their locations!  The buy back will run on Monday, November 2 from 4p.m. - 7p.m.  In addition to buying candy from your shorties, Metro Dentalcare will be giving out free toothbrushes, toothpaste, and educational materials to promote dental health! (Did you know that cavities are the most prevalent disease in American children today!!!  Yikes!)  The candy purchased by Metro Dentalcare will donated to three separate charities - Operation Gratitude, which sends care packages to soldiers serving overseas, Second Harvest Heartland, a local food bank that supplies food to food shelves in  Minnesota and Wisconsin, and The Harriet Tubman Center, a shelter in Minneapolis.

When looking into the national program, I discovered that dental offices around the country are doing the same thing on the same day and donating candy to very similar types of organizatons.  By going to http://www.metro-dentalcare.com/, you can find the 11 participating locations in the Twin Cities.  Or if you don't live in Minnesota (I know a lot of you don't), you can go to http://www.halloweencandybuyback.com/, enter your zip code and find a participating dentist near you!

I'm so excited for next Tuesday!  My kids and I will DEFINATELY be participating!  Maybe, finally the post-Halloween candy wars won't ravage my home!!!!!

Super Slacker!!!

Hello my bloggy friends! I want to apologize for being such a slacker this weekend!  I honestly have been a terrible bloggy friend.  Not only did no one hear from me all weekend, but I haven't read a single post from anyone since Friday *lowering head shamefully*.  I have no excuse, except maybe lack of sleep, but that's a whole other Oprah.  (Don't go getting any ideas out there, I behaved!)

I want to apologize to my girlfriends for not having any super sexy posts of one of the very yummy men that graces The List yesterday.  I promise to make up for it.  Right now!

I'm confident that some of you out there may gasp when you read my next statement, BUT....

Who needs Captain Jack Sparrow when you have Will Turner!?!?!?

Can you say YUM!!!

What is it about the apparently brooding man that is probably no good for you that is so enticing?  I've always wondered.  But really?  Look at this man!

It looks as though there is plenty of room for me to snuggle up tight with him and his puppy dawg.

And what an intense stare.  Orlando, your eyes say it all.

Mmmmmmmmm....

I know this post isn't super content worthy.  I wonder how many times I used the word super in this post.  I'll have to go back and count...  I promise to be back later this afternoon with something less drool inducing.  In the meantime, happy fantasies (except for you, Mike ; ) ) and I be back later...  I have some reading to do!

I'm a Yeller

I'm a yeller.  My dad was a yeller, his mom was a yeller.  We have generations of yellers in our family.

I have read tons of books on parenting.  I've read books on understanding ADHD and ODD.  I've read books on natural consequences.  I have read books on conflict resolution.  And I have read books on coping with "spirited children".  In the years my family has been working with therapists, I have been provided with a tons of parental coaching to learn how to not yell.

Today, I read a couple of articles about yelling and the effect on children. Dr. Janet Taylor says that yelling contributes to higher rates of delinquency and psychological problems.  An article in the New York Times says that yelling may be the new spanking.  It says that two-thirds of the people interviewed on the topic say yelling is their biggest guilt inducer.  Yelling.  Not spanking.  Not missing a school event.  Not working too much.  Yelling.

I guess I'm in the minority third.  Now, if while yelling, I were berating my child and tearing them apart as a person, I would most likely feel guilty.  But I'm not.  Thanks to parental coaching, I have learned how to identify at what point I'm going to flip my lid.  In therapy, my kids created a scale, the Anger Scale.  It's a 0-5 scale they created to identify different levels of frustration.  We all use it, albeit none of us are 100% consistent.  When I get to a 5, I'm yelling.  My kids are warned when I get to a 2.  They get a stern knock it off at 3.  At 4, they are warned that I've reached my last straw.  They are given MANY chances to change their behaviors before I blow.  Why on Earth would I feel guilty if they have chosen to squander their chances to make better choices?  Isn't it my job as their mom to teach them to be accountable for their actions?  They know the series of events.  They know what happens when mom reaches her boiling point.  They need to learn how to use their warnings and change their behaviors before I get to that point.

Again, if I were calling them names, that would be bad.  If I were screaming hate-filled things that was demoralizing and hurtful, that would be uncalled for.  What I am doing is screaming.  I'm screaming things like, "How many flipping times do you need to be told to knock it off?!?!" or "Honestly!  Did you not hear me when I told you I am beyond frustrated with your actions right now?!?!?" or "Really!  You're going to keep doing that after you have been repeatedly told to cut it out?!?!"

Someone please explain to me how that is psychological aggression?  I think that their unwillingness to change their behavior and continue tormenting me and often times one another is far more detrimental to all of our psyches than me hollering at them for it.  Anyone else care to weigh in on this?  Am I out of my mind?  Am I causing irreversible damage to the two most important people in my world?

Boycott Thursdays

I hate Thursdays.  See that uber grumpy face on that otherwise adorable teddy bear?  That's my face on a Thursday morning. 

Don't get me wrong, Thursday has never really ever done anything to me.  I just really don't like it.  See, I bartend on Wednesday nights.  When I get home, it is generally around 2:00 a.m.  I need normally about another half hour to wind down, putting me in bed by 2:30.  My alarm goes off at 6:30.  Ugh.

The babysitter drops my kids and her son (Little Buddy) off at 7:00.  The Girl's BFF shows up around 7:05.  I get to make breakfast for 4 kids and have 3 of them to school by 8:20.  All I want to do is sleep.

Today, The Boy stayed home from school.  He and Little Buddy watched cartoons while my lazy arse slept on the couch.  The Boy even made lunch from Little Buddy and himself.  They woke me at 12:00 to take Little Buddy to school.  So here I sit, still in my jammies, a half a pot of coffee in me, telling you how much I hate Thursday.  Thanks for listening ;)