Busted? - Lessons Learned From My Parents

Today I am linking up with the infamous Mama Kat for the pretty much world famous Writer's Workshop. To see the prompts, click here.

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It was 9:00 on Sunday morning. I was fighting off sleep, as I hadn't been to bed yet. My dad would be leaving for church soon. If I fell asleep, I would lose my window of opportunity.

Church began at 9:30. I knew I would have an hour once it began.

At promptly 9:30 a.m. I picked up the phone and dialed.

"Hello?" a groggy voice said on the other end.

"Ma?" I asked. "Can you come get me?"

"Sis?" she said.

"Yeah, Ma. Can you come get me?'

I could tell from her voice that she wasn't quite registering my request.
"Get you from where?"

She was very puzzled.

I was 14 years-old and when my parents went to bed the night before, I was tucked safely in bed... The morning light had found me across town, in the kitchen of a boy I went to school with. His parents had left town for the weekend, and although he was supposed to be staying at someone else's home, he had decided to host a small get-together in their absence.

Disbelieving I was where I said I was, my mother went down to double check my room. Shocked and scared, it wasn't long before her car pulled up outside my friend's home.

Looking back, I realize how stupid I was. It was the middle of winter, in the dead of the night, in Minnesota. I walked for miles across town, crossing fields, highways, and a lake to get to my friend's. As a mother, my mind races with thoughts of all of the terrible things that could have happened to me.

But at 14, I was invincible.

At 14, my parents were foolish for worrying about me.

At 14, I had all of the answers and had the world by the horns.

I got grounded for sneaking out. I got grounded for a VERY long time.

And I was pissed.

Looking back, I realize that my parents probably weren't as hard on me as they should have been.

Looking back, I know that ultimately, they were just happy I was safe.

As I face the daily struggles of raising a difficult child with special needs, I try really hard to remember how grown up I though I was at her age. I know I need to give her some freedom to make her own mistakes. I just pray that I am able to parent her with the grace my parents used with me.

Writer's Workshop With Mama Kat

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I can honestly say that lately, my brain has been mush. I find myself unable to take the thoughts in my head and translate them into words, sentences, and paragraphs. So, to ease my writing struggles, today I am working from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompts.

I have selected prompt #1:
Have you ever had a fight with a long time best friend and never made up? Do you think about her from time to time and think about contacting her? What would you say? What if it didn’t work out? What if it did?

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It was four years ago in October. I had been in New York visiting my (now) ex-fiance' for a long weekend. I had arranged a sitter for the weekend and was to fly back home on Monday evening.

After four relaxing and fun-filled days, I arrived at the airport in Newburg. It was 4:00 pm. My flight was to leave in an hour and a half. It was the last flight out for the night. I got checked in and sat to visit with my fiance' while we waited to hear the boarding call. The departure time came and went. A half hour after my flight was scheduled to leave, I was notified that due to weather out of Philadelphia, my flight would be cancelled. I wouldn't be able to get home until the next day.

While normally the prospect of an additional day with my fiance' would be exciting, the person left in charge of my children for the weekend needed to leave the next morning for a business trip. She needed me to be home that night so she could go home and ready herself to leave. I was screwed!

Naturally, I called my best friend. We had known each other since we were 4. My kids called her Aunt, we had travelled together, spent holidays together, and countless other things. I knew I could count on her to help me out. When she answered the phone, I quickly explained my situation. I asked if she could go collect the kids, keep them for the night, and get them to daycare the next morning. I told her that if all went according to schedule, I would be home before they were done at school and could pick their stuff up when she got home from work.

Her response ~ she couldn't go get them. It was short notice, she was tired, and she didn't have the energy to deal with my high strung kids that night or in the morning before work.

I. Was. Pissed.

I had no idea who else I could call. I had no family in the area and I was all the way across the country with no flight available until the next morning and nowhere for my kids to go. I called my daycare provider in a panic. I had no idea what I was going to do. While I was on the phone with her having a complete meltdown, my son's Cub Scout leader arrived to pick his own kids up from daycare. My daycare provider casually mentioned that she was on the phone with me and my situation and my son's Cub Scout leader offered to take my kids home with him and bring them back in the morning.

Here was a man I had known casually for just a couple of years offering to help me out because he knew how desperate my situation was. He was willing to offer me help when the one person I had known longer than anyone else in my life couldn't be inconvenienced by it.

That was the last time we talked.

My kids still ask about her and her husband, but I really have never noticed a hole in my life since severing ties. I miss her parents but that's really it.

It was that one event that made me take inventory of the relationships in my life. That one event made me evaluate whether or not I was getting what I was giving out of relationships. That one event was a catalyst of some serious purging of some extremely toxic and one-sided relationships in my life.

If she were to ever contact me and acknowledge how severely she let me down that day, I would probably listen. I don't think, however, that we could really ever been friends again.

Almost in Full Swing

As we all know, September is a month of beginnings.  In my family, September brings the beginning of school, the beginning of homework (and homework completion battles), the beginning of scouting, the beginning of fall (my favorite!), and the beginning of religion.

This year, the youth coordinator at our church sent out a questionaire for the kids to fill out prior to religion starting.  The questions were random, but great!  So, I'm going to answer....

1. If you could do something really heroic, what would you do?
Eliminate malpractice suits and insurance companies so healthcare could be afforable for all... (Think Little House on the Prairie style!)

2. What is your favorite thing that begins with the letter "H"?
I'm going to go with The Girl on this one and say HUGS

3. What are three jobs that you think might be really fun to have someday?

• Rock Star
• Food Critic
• Actress

4. If you could change one rule that your parents have set for you, what would it be?
(The Girl - she's 9 - said not being allowed to wear make-up.  The Boy said bedtime.)
I don't really remember having many rules as a kid (that I followed, anyway), but it always frustrated me that I wasn't allowed to drive north of the Minnesota River until I had my license for a year.  Really, Mom?!?  I can drive to Iowa?  Texas?  Nebraska?  Illinois?  But I'm not allowed to cross the river and go to Bloomington, Minneapolis, or St. Paul?  Brilliant!

5. Have you ever faced a bully?  How did you handle it?
I was married to a bully.  I left, at 4 months pregnant with our 2nd child.  He died when she was 6 months old.  We were still married, but divorce was inevitable had he not died...

6. If you could have any superpower, what would you have or what would you use?
Ooooh, this one ties in with Moxie Media's Writer's Workshop!  If I could have any superpower, it would be the ability to decipher bullshit and know the truth!  I would use it to determine when the kids a lying, to know a man's intentions, to know who extended the invitation when the drama llama comes to town, etc!  I would love this superpower to death, as it would safe me a lot of time and frustration in my home life, my dating life, and my friend life!

7. What is your favorite day of the year?  Why?
My favorite day of the year... Hmmm...  That's a toughie.  I don't know that it is a specific date.  My favorite day of the year is any day my amazing family of 3 can spend an entire day together having fun - and NO FIGHTING!  I love, love, love that day!

8. If you could invent anything you wanted, what would it be?
A money tree that bloomed frequently and could be harvested daily.

9. In your opinion, what is the most boring thing to do?  What is something you could do to make it more exciting?
The Most Boring...  I'm going to have to go with fold laundry.  Folding laundry is by far the bain of my existence.  I'm not really sure if it is possible to make it more fun.  Maybe if I had Mary Poppins' magical ability to play "Tidy Up the Nursery" and could change the name of the game to "Fold and Put Away All of the Laundry", then MAYBE it would be more exciting...  Maybe...

10. When you meet other kids for the first time, what is one thing you usually want to know about them right away?
Do you have an attractive, successful, and emotionally available single father?  Oh, wait!  I really want to know if they are kind to other people.  I don't like my kids hanging out with jerks.

11. If you could start your own company today, one that would be run entirely by kids, what would your business make and sell?
I'm pretty sure there are all kinds of labor laws that would not allow this to EVER happen (thanks a lot, Upton Sinclair), but a confectionary would be cool...

12. What is one thing you are pretty certain you will be good at when you get older?
I'm pretty ceratin I will still be darn good at baking (and eating what I bake) when I get older!

Hahaha!  That was fun!  You should try it!