Thursday, December 2, 2010

Writer's Workshop With Mama Kat

Mama's Losin' It

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I can honestly say that lately, my brain has been mush. I find myself unable to take the thoughts in my head and translate them into words, sentences, and paragraphs. So, to ease my writing struggles, today I am working from Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop prompts.

I have selected prompt #1:
Have you ever had a fight with a long time best friend and never made up? Do you think about her from time to time and think about contacting her? What would you say? What if it didn’t work out? What if it did?

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It was four years ago in October. I had been in New York visiting my (now) ex-fiance' for a long weekend. I had arranged a sitter for the weekend and was to fly back home on Monday evening.

After four relaxing and fun-filled days, I arrived at the airport in Newburg. It was 4:00 pm. My flight was to leave in an hour and a half. It was the last flight out for the night. I got checked in and sat to visit with my fiance' while we waited to hear the boarding call. The departure time came and went. A half hour after my flight was scheduled to leave, I was notified that due to weather out of Philadelphia, my flight would be cancelled. I wouldn't be able to get home until the next day.

While normally the prospect of an additional day with my fiance' would be exciting, the person left in charge of my children for the weekend needed to leave the next morning for a business trip. She needed me to be home that night so she could go home and ready herself to leave. I was screwed!

Naturally, I called my best friend. We had known each other since we were 4. My kids called her Aunt, we had travelled together, spent holidays together, and countless other things. I knew I could count on her to help me out. When she answered the phone, I quickly explained my situation. I asked if she could go collect the kids, keep them for the night, and get them to daycare the next morning. I told her that if all went according to schedule, I would be home before they were done at school and could pick their stuff up when she got home from work.

Her response ~ she couldn't go get them. It was short notice, she was tired, and she didn't have the energy to deal with my high strung kids that night or in the morning before work.

I. Was. Pissed.

I had no idea who else I could call. I had no family in the area and I was all the way across the country with no flight available until the next morning and nowhere for my kids to go. I called my daycare provider in a panic. I had no idea what I was going to do. While I was on the phone with her having a complete meltdown, my son's Cub Scout leader arrived to pick his own kids up from daycare. My daycare provider casually mentioned that she was on the phone with me and my situation and my son's Cub Scout leader offered to take my kids home with him and bring them back in the morning.

Here was a man I had known casually for just a couple of years offering to help me out because he knew how desperate my situation was. He was willing to offer me help when the one person I had known longer than anyone else in my life couldn't be inconvenienced by it.

That was the last time we talked.

My kids still ask about her and her husband, but I really have never noticed a hole in my life since severing ties. I miss her parents but that's really it.

It was that one event that made me take inventory of the relationships in my life. That one event made me evaluate whether or not I was getting what I was giving out of relationships. That one event was a catalyst of some serious purging of some extremely toxic and one-sided relationships in my life.

If she were to ever contact me and acknowledge how severely she let me down that day, I would probably listen. I don't think, however, that we could really ever been friends again.

21 comments:

Casey said...

Wow, my mouth dropped. I'm sorry but if I got a call that my friend was stranded and needed help I would be on it no matter what. Also, for her to say that about your kids. I think it is better that the friendship ended even though it was hard. I went through a break of a friendship a year ago and it was and still is hard. I still see her at events. Women can be such witches

Harter said...

I've had friendships like that :( No fun!

MacDougal Street Baby said...

The most difficult moments are when you see a special person's true colors and they're not the vibrant ones you had expected. I'm sorry for your loss. I know the pain.

Johnnie said...

Come check out my new blog hop Thrifty Thursdays. Blessings!

Johnnie

Karen & Gerard Zemek said...

I'm glad that scout leader was willing to help! What a difficult situation you were in. I'm glad I don't have to travel for my job.

Visiting from writer's workshop. Here's a link to ours: http://zemeks.blogspot.com/2010/11/our-thanksgiving-day-rainy-eating.html if you have time to stop by.

Kimberly said...

Wow. I wonder why she was so short with you and why she didn't feel the need to help you out.

The Laundry Ladies said...

Yeah, some things are better to be DONE with rather than continued under strained pretenses. I would have been crazy pissed, too. Did she ever try to contact you after that to chat, catch up, or get together?

I chose the same prompt, as well, and feel completely confident that closing the book on my friendship was a flash of genius and very necessary.

http://dishingthedirt-clothesline.blogspot.com/2010/12/we-split-sheets.html

Diane said...

Oh wow. So true that we find out who our friends really are when we are in most need of them. I know how hurtful that can be but like you said, we don't feel a hole when they are gone. Because there was nothing there to begin with.

Sheri said...

I wrote about losing a friend, too. It's devastating when a friend betrays or lets you down on purpose.

Lolidots said...

And as much as it sucks to have someone close let you down so much, you should realize that you are better off without people like that in your life. That she did not even acknowledge her crappy behavior blows my mind! I cannot imagine not helping out a friend in need!

Michelle Pixie said...

I think we all need to have these moments in our lives where we reevaluate why certain people in our lives. I know I have had my own! But it really sucks that it had to come in this form. I guess endings are pretty much always messy and sad but sometimes it would just be nice if we outgrew our friendships like we do a pair of pants. ;-)

Losing Brownies said...

I don't think I could stay friends with her either. I mean of all time to bail out, she picks that one? I'm sorry.

ournextchapters.com said...

I absolutely know that feeling! "but I really have never noticed a hole in my life since severing ties"... that just rubbed a very fresh wound of mine. I so miss having a BFF. I miss the idea of a BFF... but not her.

theworkinghousewife said...

Aww.. I'm sorry about that - it's horrible when the people we care about let us down. Glad there was someone to help you out.
Stopping by from Mam Kat's.

Rochelle@AFamilyofLooneys said...

Man that was a really crappy thing to do to you. You were between a rock and a hard place. Good for you for letting that person go. Sorry you had to go through that :-(

Kristy said...

Wow. That is a deal breaker. You've got to be able to help out a best friend if you can. Who cares if you're tired.

Crazy Woman Moonlighting as Normal said...

Wow. Same thing happened with me a few months ago...and I feel the same about the reationship too. Love you...

Aunt Crazy said...

Ouch...that wasn't right! I can't imagine a friend letting me down like that.

Dee said...

Girl...I just ended a friendship with my (ex)bff, and I didn't even tell her why. The last time I went home (to Louisiana) I caught her stealing my pain meds out of my purse. She didn't know that I saw her, so when I asked her if she took them and she lied to me I knew our 10 year friendship was over. I can't believe that your bff would do that to you! That's awful!

Babes Mami said...

Unfortunate that the moment happened when you were far away but good that it happened. I had that reevaluation point a couple years ago and it's been much better since. Several less people around me but I know the ones who are are worth it!

I'm shocked that someone that close would say no! It's not like you were asking so you could go out or something. you were STRANDED!!

Mothers' Hideaway said...

Wow. I don't understand why or how people can be so so so selfish! It's so discouraging for me. :(

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