Tuesday, November 30, 2010
Monday, November 29, 2010
Future Ex-Husbands - Better Late Than Never
So, on Saturday night after I got home from work, I went to log in to Blogger and get my FEX post scheduled for the week. Sadly, there was some kind of certificate error with the Blogger site and I was not near a computer all day on Sunday.
So, here it is, a day late, but better than never..
Channing Tatum!
I wasn't so sure what I thought of him in Dear John, but the trailers for his new movie,
The Eagle, have me excited for more. Yum!
All images located thru Google Images.
Friday, November 26, 2010
'Tis The Season To... Relax
Relax
After closing the bar on Wednesday (cuz I'm the bartender not the drunk), I was up not too early to get my bird stuffed and in the oven. I then settled in to watch the Patriots massacre the Lions. During commercials and half time I prepared my side dishes so we could settle in for dinner after Tom Brady took his last knee.
An hour after dinner, this is how my son found me.
I hope you all can find some time to relax in the madness that can sometimes come during the holiday season.
Blessings to you all!
Thursday, November 25, 2010
'Tis The Season To Be... Thankful
Thankful
I know I complain. I complain a lot. I complain about my children and their mouths, their lack of accountability, how much they fight, and their unwillingness to help around the house. I also complain about being overwhelmed. I'm overwhelmed by laundry, by cleaning, by relationships, and by money (or my lack there of). What I don't do enough of is be thankful. While I spend so much time focusing on the things that bring me down, I am frequently blind to the blessings that surround me.
While they are the cause of so much of my frustration, I am truly grateful for my children. Their smiling faces and their laughter fill me with an indescribable warmth. I struggle with my daughter's behavior disorders and sometimes find myself at a breaking point. Then I remember the moms that have lost their daughters and can't struggle with them anymore. I am so thankful for every day I get to say "Good morning." to both of my babies. I also think about the women who want so desperately to be mamas and for whatever reason can't conceive or the mamas that have to share their kids with exes. I am so blessed to have two beautiful babies that I don't have to share with anyone. They are mine for every weekend, every holiday, every birthday, and every summer.
Since losing my job in April of 2008, money has been tight. I am thankful that with the exception of my mortgage, I have no outstanding debt. While I sometimes struggle to pay the bills coming in, I still have the luxuries of DirecTv, internet, and a Blackberry. I haven't needed to eliminate them completely from my life. Through careful budgeting, my kids still get new shoes, new clothes, and new toys, movies, and video games. We have never had to go without a meal; and instead of having to get rid of pets we couldn't afford to feed, in May, we added a new dog to our family.
It is so easy to revel in our hardships. In doing so, we often lose sight of the blessings we receive every day. I fight with depression and sometimes I feel hopeless, helpless, and ready to give up. Then, I remember... There is no struggle too great and through Him, all things are possible. While I know my journey hasn't been all sunshine and roses, I know there are people out there with a more difficult lot.
Take some time to count your blessings.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
'Tis The Seaon For... Charity
Charity
My son was asking me the other day if it would be possible for him to begin receiving an allowance. I've recently written about my allowance dilemma, so when The Boy asked, I took the opportunity to talk to him about my thoughts surrounding it.
One of the conversation topics was allocation of the money he earned. I told him that if he were to begin receiving allowance, the expectation would be that he set aside 10% for savings and 10% for charity. The rest would be his to use at his discretion. The first thing out of his mouth when I stated my expectations was, "Mom! I don't even know of any charities. Besides, I'm 11. How could I possibly help?" This sentiment really caught me off guard.
As a parent and a Christian, I truly believe that charity begins at home. All of their lives, my children have been giving, without really knowing it. We have never had garage sales. When they grow out of clothes, toys, or books, my children have always put them aside to be donated. As this is "just the way it's done" in our home, my children have never viewed it as charity. To them, charity is simply giving money.
I took the conversation as an opportunity to teach my kids about how charity can take so many different forms. I know that in general, times are hard economically for many. Across the country unemployment rates are up, foreclosure rates are up, personal debt is rising, and bankrupcy is an all too common option for those struggling to keep their heads above water. Trust me when I say, my family has been impacted by the economic downturn as well. But because of something my dad told me shortly after my husband died, I haven't let my financial staus hinder my charitable spirit. No matter your situation, there is always someone out there that has it worse.
So, if you don't have money to give (I know I don't), maybe you have time. Instead of selling the clothes you don't wear anymore or the ones your kids have grown out of, maybe you can donate them. If you buy new blankets or sheets, maybe there is a shelter, halfway house, or even a pet rescue in your area that could use your old one! There are always ways to give back.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Monday, November 22, 2010
'Tis The Season To Be... Cold
Cold
As fall fades away and the days get shorter, a new feeling fills the air. Gone are the smells and sounds of autumn. In their place we find winter. The crunch of the snow beneath the dogs' feet in the morning while the world is still asleep. My breath lingering on the air as I call them in. Snowflakes falling and making the landscape fresh and white, coating the tree branches so they shine. Jack Frost's doodles on the glass.
A Sunday afternoon at the park has turned to a Sunday afternoon on the couch. Curling up in front of the fireplace after a day on the sledding hill. Hanging the wet snowpants and gloves over the tub to dry. Eating a steaming bowl of soup and indulging in some cocoa.
As Minnesotans, we often complain about the elements. It's too cold, too snowy, too windy, dark too soon. I challenge you to take in the beauty around you. Slow down for a day and appreciate the world in which we live. Is there any better feeling than a soft blanket out of the dryer? Snuggling close to the kids and taking a nap? Catch a snowflake on your tongue. Make a snowman. Enjoy the beginning of winter, because although it seems to last forever, it will in fact been over soon.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Future Ex-Husbands - Eye Candy to Be Thankful For
Yes, I know... Last week I totally failed you in the #FEX department.
This week, however, this man can't stop dancing through my mind.
With all of the commercials for the new season of
The Human Target,
I have had many daydreams of
Mark Valley.
Check him out!
Images located via Google Images
Friday, November 19, 2010
All I Want For Christmas...
As many of you know, I am a widow. I have been raising my children independently for 10 years. When they were younger, they had a lot of questions about their dad and wondering about that side of the family.
*For the record, my husband was abused by his mother as a child. She abandoned him at the age of 13 and left him to be a ward of the state. At the time of his death, they were still estranged. My children have never met the paternal side of their family. Neither have I.*
Anywho... The other day, I wrote about my children's Christmas Wish Lists. In the comments, a mom wrote that for Christmas, one of her children asked to meet their dad. While my situation and hers are very different, I could still relate with the feeling of helplessness when it comes to not being able to be both parents.
While my children don't know the details surrounding their father's death, I have told them both stories of how excited he was for them to be born, how happy being a dad made him, and other happy stories for them to feel closer to their dad. While I don't condone lying to my kids, I try to keep from them the ugly details.
This mom and I emailed back and forth a bit and discussed different options for handling her particular situation, but my heart is still aching for her and her sweet boy. So now I turn to you, my bloggy friends. After all, what's the use of this amazing community if we can't provide one another support?
What words of advice do you have for this mom? Are you or have you been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? How can she be honest with her son without breaking his heart?
*For the record, my husband was abused by his mother as a child. She abandoned him at the age of 13 and left him to be a ward of the state. At the time of his death, they were still estranged. My children have never met the paternal side of their family. Neither have I.*
Anywho... The other day, I wrote about my children's Christmas Wish Lists. In the comments, a mom wrote that for Christmas, one of her children asked to meet their dad. While my situation and hers are very different, I could still relate with the feeling of helplessness when it comes to not being able to be both parents.
While my children don't know the details surrounding their father's death, I have told them both stories of how excited he was for them to be born, how happy being a dad made him, and other happy stories for them to feel closer to their dad. While I don't condone lying to my kids, I try to keep from them the ugly details.
This mom and I emailed back and forth a bit and discussed different options for handling her particular situation, but my heart is still aching for her and her sweet boy. So now I turn to you, my bloggy friends. After all, what's the use of this amazing community if we can't provide one another support?
What words of advice do you have for this mom? Are you or have you been in a similar situation? How did you handle it? How can she be honest with her son without breaking his heart?
Thursday, November 18, 2010
Share a Spoon - Turkey Day Desserts
It's time to Share a Spoon with Momma B at the Think Tank!
This week's theme in Thanksgiving Day desserts.
One upon a time, there was a girl who worked at Starbucks. While working at Starbucks, the girl became enamored with the seasonal Cranberry Bliss Bars. When she no longer worked at Starbucks, the girl would crave the Cranberry Bliss Bar. She searched high and low for a recipe that filled her needs until one day, the lovely interwebz answered her prayers.
Here it is, folks - the closest Cranberry Bliss Bar recipe I have ever found.
Nom nom nom...
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| Photo Credit |
What you need:
Cake
1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened
1 1/4 cups light brown sugar, packed
3 eggs
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1 teaspoon ginger
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
3/4 cup diced dried cranberries
6 ounces white chocolate, cut into chunks
Frosting
4-ounces cream cheese, softened
3 cups powdered sugar
4 teaspoons lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/4 cup diced dried cranberries
Drizzled Icing
1/2 cup powdered sugar
1 tablespoon milk
2 teaspoons vegetable shortening
What you do:
1. Preheat oven to 350°F.
2. Make cake by beating butter and brown sugar together with an electric mixer until smooth. Add eggs, vanilla, ginger, and salt and beat well. Gradually mix in flour until smooth. Mix 3/4 cup diced dried cranberries and white chocolate into the batter by hand. Pour batter into a well-greased 9x13" baking pan. Use a spatula to spread the batter evenly across the pan. Bake for 35 to 40 minutes or until cake is light brown on the edges. Allow cake to cool.
3. Make frosting by combining softened cream cheese, 3 cups powdered sugar, lemon juice and vanilla extract in a medium bowl with an electric mixer until smooth. When the cake has cooled, use a spatula to spread frosting over the top of the cake.
4. Sprinkle 1/4 cup of diced cranberries over the frosting on the cake.
5. Whisk together 1/2 cup powdered sugar, 1 tablespoon milk, and shortening. Drizzle icing over the cranberries in a sweeping motion or use a pastry bag with a fine tip to drizzle frosting across the top of the cake.
6. Allow cake to sit for several hours, then slice the cake lengthwise (the long way) through the middle. Slice the cake across the width three times making a total of eight rectangular slices. Slice each of those rectangles diagonally creating 16 triangular slices.
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
A Tale of Three Christmas Lists
Over the weekend The Man and I asked our children for their Christmas Wish Lists. (He has a son 10 days older than The Boy.) While I know kids are often unreasonable, this year's lists weren't as bad as I thought they would be. More than anything, I am surprised at how different the lists of three kids so close in age are.
Here are their lists, along with the likelihood of all of their Christmas dreams coming true...
Here are their lists, along with the likelihood of all of their Christmas dreams coming true...
The Boy's Christmas Wish List
bike ~sounds good
XBox (new kind) ~um, just got you your XBox LAST Christmas
new bed ~soon, hold your horses, kid
room painted ~again, soon!
iPod songs ~no problem!
more privileges - stay up later ~ SURE! As soon as you can get up with an alarm clock!
Assassins Creed Brotherhood pick
HALO Reach one
COD Black Ops video
Fable 3 game
more freedom of speech - allowed to says words such as "damn" ~ FAT FRICKING CHANCE!
Armani suit (optional) ~BWAHAHAHAHAHA
1600 Microsoft points ~maybe? what are they used for?
The Girl's Christmas Wish List
a new cell phone, iPhone, or touch screen ~I'm pretty sure you lost your cell phone privileges indefinitely due to BAD texting choices.
more clothes from Justice and new clothes from Pac Sun, Elmo T's, Hello Kitty T's, more super skinny jeans, anything I like ~that's pretty broad, how 'bout a gift card and we call it good?
laptop or iPad ~PSHAW!
a football ~um? ok? a football it is...
big sweatshirts like the ones I take from The Boy ~QUIT TAKING YOUR BROTHER'S STUFF!!! GEEZ!
more Osiris high tops ~like plural? you want more than one more pair? do I look like Mommy Warbucks?
3 duck bill DC hats ~I am so not supporting that fashion statement
hair clips ~sounds good! now quit taking mine!
long boy shorts ~just the other day you asked me for booty shorts! make up your darn mind! (if I tell you I prefer the booty shorts will you say long shorts? *fingers crossed*)
new bed covers just 4 me ~I found some cute Bobby Jack ones on CSN!
a scrapbooking kit 4 me and u ~I'm not so much into scrapbooking, how about that one is just for you?
new pillows 4 me and me only ~define pillow. do you mean pillow pillows or pillow pets?
more Patriots jerseys ~I am happy to oblige anyone's Patriots habit!
2 be able 2 watch Jersey Shore ~NOT IN THIS LIFETIME!
The Man's Boy's Christmas Wish List
Lego Winter Toy Shop ~12 year-olds are still into Legos?
Lego Winter Village Bakery ~it would appear so...
iPod Touch ~because the Nano your dad bought you last Christmas just isn't good enough...
Hexbug nano set ~HEY! these are cool! thanks for the idea for my nephews!
Nerf Spectre REV ~sure! I'd love to send big 'ol Nerf guns back to your mom's with you!
Nerf Barrel Break ~woah, that's a big gun... maybe we should ship it directly to CO
Nerf Stampede ~another one? who do you wanna off, kiddo?
Lego Claw Catcher ~more Legos? ok?
Tuesday, November 16, 2010
Monday, November 15, 2010
Moving Forward is Scary Stuff
Relationships are a scary thing. My relationship history dictates that men leave. Throughout my life, they always have. As I've grown older, my fears eventually manifest in a way that pushes men out of my life inevitably perpetuating the the belief.
When I was 15, my parents divorced. As a teenage girl, I was given the choice to continue living with my mother and continue going to the same school I had always gone with the same friends OR I could live with my dad - which meant moving to Chicago - which meant a new school and all new friends. I'm sure you can imagine which choice I made.
Two days after Christmas, 2 weeks before my 16th birthday, my dad and my younger brother - who was my best friend - packed up a moving truck and left. Life as I had known it was over. The two most important men in my life were gone. I was devastated.
Fortunately, I still had friends and school. While I made very self-destructive choices as a teenager, I was smart enough to never get caught or to ever get in to any real trouble. Then, the August after I graduated high school, my heart was once again torn out. I remember the phone call clearly. The Minnesota State Fair had just begun that week. I was getting ready to meet a friend when the phone rang. My best friend Alan had been killed in a freak accident at work. That was it. He was gone.
Losing Al left an irreparable hole in my heart. While I have lost many more people, his death has always been the one that has affected me the most. When I met my husband at the age of 19, Al's death was still a very raw and painful wound. My husband knew my struggles with my dad and brother leaving. He also knew how hard losing Alan was for me. Needless to say, his suicide when I was 23 didn't help my attachment issues.
In the years since his death, I have dated several men. Two have asked me to marry them. I said yes to one. Sadly, that relationship ended before our walk down the aisle. Part of the reason was my fears, the other part was his irrational and insane family. We are still great friends, but losing that relationship also hurt.
I was recently made aware that this week marks the 1 year anniversary of my relationship with The Man. The road has definitely been bumpy and I have been less than a peach. My relationship sabotaging way has reared it's ugly head more than once. I recall on one occasion telling him that I wanted to break up, to which he responded, "No you don't. You're just scared." He was right and he continues to be each time I panic.
We've decided that when his lease ends in February, he will move into my home and we will live together. With the exception of the 5 male roommates I had in college, my husband is the only man I've ever lived with. While I think this is a good step, I'm scared as hell. I've never let my guard down enough to allow a man 100% full access 24/7. While cohabitation goes outside of my Christian value system, I know that I am not emotionally prepared to take the step to marriage.
I don't view cohabitation as the "easy way out", I just know myself well enough to know that extra step will send me on a self-sabotaging rampage. So I'm taking it one baby-step at a time.
Still, there are many things about living together that scare the bejeezus out of me. For instance, am I really up to sharing my bed every night? And how do we decide whose stuff we will keep and whose stuff will be redistributed? Where do couples that live together go to get away from each other? Do I need to leave the comfort of my own home to get some breathing room? How do you share housework? I don't want to have unreasonable expectations, but does living together mean that I may soon have someone to fold and put away laundry for me? And speaking of laundry, where the heck is he going to put his clothes? My closet and dresser are F-U-L-L. Do I need to purge?
As you can see, while seemingly superficial, I have plenty of worries and concerns. Trust me when I say, these things are just the very tippy top of the iceberg. Just last night, we got into an "I have to hang up, I can't have this conversation with you anymore" argument about money. The he-has-it-and-I-don't-so-why-won't-I-just-let-him-pay-for-stuff-I-can't-afford kind of fight. Fortunately, we still have several months to work on some of these things. In the meantime, I will be working on opening myself up to solutions that are outside of my comfort zone and being more flexible and less set in my ways....
When I was 15, my parents divorced. As a teenage girl, I was given the choice to continue living with my mother and continue going to the same school I had always gone with the same friends OR I could live with my dad - which meant moving to Chicago - which meant a new school and all new friends. I'm sure you can imagine which choice I made.
Two days after Christmas, 2 weeks before my 16th birthday, my dad and my younger brother - who was my best friend - packed up a moving truck and left. Life as I had known it was over. The two most important men in my life were gone. I was devastated.
Fortunately, I still had friends and school. While I made very self-destructive choices as a teenager, I was smart enough to never get caught or to ever get in to any real trouble. Then, the August after I graduated high school, my heart was once again torn out. I remember the phone call clearly. The Minnesota State Fair had just begun that week. I was getting ready to meet a friend when the phone rang. My best friend Alan had been killed in a freak accident at work. That was it. He was gone.
Losing Al left an irreparable hole in my heart. While I have lost many more people, his death has always been the one that has affected me the most. When I met my husband at the age of 19, Al's death was still a very raw and painful wound. My husband knew my struggles with my dad and brother leaving. He also knew how hard losing Alan was for me. Needless to say, his suicide when I was 23 didn't help my attachment issues.
In the years since his death, I have dated several men. Two have asked me to marry them. I said yes to one. Sadly, that relationship ended before our walk down the aisle. Part of the reason was my fears, the other part was his irrational and insane family. We are still great friends, but losing that relationship also hurt.
I was recently made aware that this week marks the 1 year anniversary of my relationship with The Man. The road has definitely been bumpy and I have been less than a peach. My relationship sabotaging way has reared it's ugly head more than once. I recall on one occasion telling him that I wanted to break up, to which he responded, "No you don't. You're just scared." He was right and he continues to be each time I panic.
We've decided that when his lease ends in February, he will move into my home and we will live together. With the exception of the 5 male roommates I had in college, my husband is the only man I've ever lived with. While I think this is a good step, I'm scared as hell. I've never let my guard down enough to allow a man 100% full access 24/7. While cohabitation goes outside of my Christian value system, I know that I am not emotionally prepared to take the step to marriage.
I don't view cohabitation as the "easy way out", I just know myself well enough to know that extra step will send me on a self-sabotaging rampage. So I'm taking it one baby-step at a time.
Still, there are many things about living together that scare the bejeezus out of me. For instance, am I really up to sharing my bed every night? And how do we decide whose stuff we will keep and whose stuff will be redistributed? Where do couples that live together go to get away from each other? Do I need to leave the comfort of my own home to get some breathing room? How do you share housework? I don't want to have unreasonable expectations, but does living together mean that I may soon have someone to fold and put away laundry for me? And speaking of laundry, where the heck is he going to put his clothes? My closet and dresser are F-U-L-L. Do I need to purge?
 |
| image via Google Images |
Friday, November 12, 2010
Gevalia Takes the Guessing Out of Gifting
Fortunately, this year Gevalia has taken the guessing out of gifting! Through the wonder of Facebook, Gevalia has created an application that looks through your friends' profiles and selects gift packs that match their interests! How cool is that?!?!
The Gevalia Gift Matcher application can be used on anyone in your friends list! For example, let's say I couldn't decide what to get Miss Lucinda this year. I just click on the Gevalia Gift Matcher application, select Miss Lucinda, and voila! The Gevalia Gift Matcher application recommends the European Classics Coffee Basket. Easy Peasy! Then, lets's say I also needed a gift for Fave Cousin! I select the option to get a gift matched for another Facebook friend and TADA!!! Fave Cousin matches with the Gevalia Dark Roast Blend Set. But it gets better! If I choose to order these gifts through the Gevalia Gift Matcher application, I get 10% off of my purchase and orders over $50 get FREE shipping and handling! How cool is that!?!?
Would you like a chance to win one of the fabulous Gevalia Gift Matcher gift packs? Well today is your lucky day! To one lucky Only Parent Chronicles reader, Gevalia has offered the Springform Bake Set (ARV $34.95). This gift pack contains a 5 piece Springform set (3 non-stick pans, stainless steel whisk, and silicone oven mitt), 2 boxes of Gevalia Royal Vinter, and 2 boxes of Gevalia Royal Vinter Spice.
To enter you must be a resident of the U.S.A.
The giveaway will run Friday, November 12 - Friday, November 26 at 11:59 pm CST.
Mandatory entry:
Visit the Gevalia Gift Matcher application,
then come back and tell us what gift the gift matcher recommends for you!
For additional entries:
~"Like" Only Parent Chronicles on Facebook
~"Like" Gevalia on Facebook
~Follow Only Parent Chronicles on Twitter
~Follow Gevalia on Twitter
~Follow Only Parent Chronicles via GFC
~Join the Only Parent Chronicles community on Blog Frog
~Join a discussion in the Only Parent Chronicles Blog Frog community
Please leave a separate comment for each entry!
If your email is not visible in your profile, you must leave it with your comment.
Authors were not compensated inanyway for this review/giveaway.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Share A Spoon - Turkey Day Side Dishes
Happy Thursday!
I feel like I'm a little late to the ball, but I'm here none the less.
To share your own recipes, head on over to the Think Tank and link up!
This week's theme is Thanksgiving side dishes. The recipe I'm sharing is one I've made every year and I found in a Pampered Chef cook book years and years ago...
Escalloped Corn
What you need:
1/2 cup melted butter
1 can creamed corn
1 can whole kernel corn drained
8 ounce container of sour cream
2 eggs beaten
1 8 1/2 ounce package corn bread mix (I use Jif)
1 can (4 oz.) chopped green chiles, drained
What you do:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
In a large bowl, combine butter, creamed corn, and whole kernel corn.
Stir in sour cream and eggs.
Add cornbread mix, blend well.
Stir in chiles.
Pour batter into greased 13x9 glass baking dish.
Bake 30-40 minutes or until lightly browned and wooden pick inserted comes out clean.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
