It's An Award! Honest!

Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I received a comment from my bloggy friend FeliciaE over at Living Just Like Grandma.  She wanted to let me know show had bestowed the honor of an award on me.  I got really excited!  I mean, really?!?!?  Who doesn't LOVE awards?!? (If you say you don't, I'm calling you a big, fat liar!)  Even more exciting, it's the Honest Scrap award.  I don't know who started this award, but I've been DYING to get it!  Weird, I know, but I love, love, love the graphic.  Call me crazy...  So thank you SOOOO  much Felicia!  I will display it proudly!

Here are the rules:

1.) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged me.

2.) Tell those 7 people they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

3.) Share "10 Honest Things" about myself.

So, here it goes!!!

Daffy at Batcrap Crazy - She's a new bloggy friend.  I know she already has this award, but she makes me laugh, so I'm awarding her again.

Nancy at If Evolution Really Works - Again, I know she already has this one, but she cracks me up and I wanted to show her a little love and gratitude.

Leigh at Leigh vs. Laundry - What can I say?  I mean really?  A pegasus in the salsa?  She's gotta be amazing to be raising a kid with an imagination like that!

Charmaine at Middle Aged Dating - You've gotta love a woman that bulldozes an ungrateful's place...  Hehehe!  Can I borrow your bulldozer, please?

Lisa Anne at Smell the Coffee Lisa - One again, she already has this award, but since I've been following her, I've come to the conclusion there is nothing this woman can't do!

Lunhatikk at Attitude of Gratitude - Not only is it damn hard to be that grateful all of the time, she is a kick arse face/body painter.

Amy at My LaLa Land - An adorable, 20-something, non-mommy blogger I heart.

Now for 10 Honest Things About Myself

1. I never wanted to be a mom, but my kids are my whole world and the force that drives my lazy butt out of bed every day.  They are the cheese to my macaroni.

2. I am involved in animal rescue, mostly bully breeds, and have had over 100 different foster dogs in the last 10 years.  Check out Underdog Rescue.  It was started and is run by my friend Shannon.

3. I was laid off last April (2008).  I have no desire to go back to work full time.

4. I'm looking into going back to school in the spring.  I always wanted to be a veterinarian.  Marriage and kids halted that...

5. I am a movie junkie.  I own over 300 DVDs, still have an extensive VHS collection, AND DVR tons of movies weekly.  Being an only parent only enables this addiction.  (Hey!  It's better than crack!)

6. I love trying new beers.  When I travel, I always try local or regional microbrews.  My favorite beer (currently) is Spotted Cow from New Glarus, WI.

7. I am a REALLY BIG DORK.  I love sci-fi and fantasy.  I watch Star Wars (The Clone Wars cartoons), read Tolkien, and love things like The Dark Crystal.

8. I was supposed to get married this year (10.17.09 to be exact).  My ex-beau (Chef) is 7 years younger than me and is probably one of my best friends in the whole wide world.  I love him very much but think he is too young to settle down.

9. I have two brothers.  Redneck Brother and Baby Brother.  Redneck Brother lives about 15 minutes away from me and I see him maybe  a dozen times a year.  His wife was diagnosed with breast cancer last week.  Please pray for them.  Baby Brother lives in Chicagoland with his wife (Wonder Woman).  They are high school sweethearts and have 4 B-E-A-Utiful boys that I adore.

10. I believe that my husband's death was a blessing in disguise.  Some feel that is callus, but I don't care.  My kids don't have to live with his demons and broken promises.  I think that is far healthier than having a crackhead dad that pops in and out at his convenience leaving a wake of heartache in his path.

So, that's that!  Check out the 7 fabulous women I listed above and have an amazing day!

Single Parent vs. Only Parent

I was reading a post today on Mom Logic about the term single mom.  The author seemed to think that term was thrown around too loosely and by it being so widely used, the meaning of the term has been diminshed.  In her post, she decided that parents that are raising their kids without a co-parent should begin calling themselves only parents.

I am a widow.  My husband, the father of my children, comitted suicide 8 years ago.  Before you start feeling all kinds of sympathy, let me tell you, my marriage was less than functional.  I left him when I was 4 months pregnant with The Girl.  In the last year of his life, I put him in treatment 5 times.  He relapsed 5 times.  I finally decided I couldn't raise my children in a home filled with his demons.  When The Girl was 6 months old (The Boy was 2), I told him I was filing for divorce.  He was found dead in a hotel room in Colorado 2 weeks later (that's a whole other Oprah).  At no point did I blame myself.  I was VERY angry for a very long time.  I had resolved myself to no longer being married to him.  I never thought for a second I would never see him again.

I have always called myself an only parent.  I have friends that are single parents.  To me, that term means a parent raising children in a home without an adult partner.  Most of my single parent friends have parenting schedules that allow them to be child-free every other weekend.  Some also have one weekday evening and extended time in the summer and over school breaks.  I have never had anything like that.

In addition to not having someone to co-parent with, I don't have family in the area to help.  I truly am on my own.  Over the years, I have developed friendships with other women that don't have support systems.  We have become each other's support systems.  It works, but it's not the same as having actively involved grandparents, aunts, and uncles.

I look at some of the co-parenting arrangements some of my single parent friends have and I can honestly say, I have it good.  BFF is currently going through a VERY nasty divorce.  The man (I use that term loosely) she is divorcing has done everything in his power to drive a wedge between BFF and her oldest boy.  In addition, they are completely unable to communicate (she has a restraining order against him) AND he actively tells their children they don't have to follow her directions or rules.  (The scary thing is the courts are actually going to give him these kids because they don't think it's in their best interest to move up north!  WTF!  That too is a whole other Oprah.)

While I realize that most co-parenting relationships are far more civil than this, it begs the question is it really more difficult to co-parent than it is to be an only parent?  I for one am very glad that I don't have to rely on my children's father for ANYTHING (not that I had a choice).  While I spent years being angry that I was "robbed" of that option (as well as my kids being robbed of knowing their dad), I have come to be grateful of my situation.  While I would love to have a partner in life, living in my home, and acting as a support in raising my kids, I am glad I don't have to "make nice" with someone for the sake of my kids and rely on someone that couldn't hold true to their commitments to me to hold true to their commitments to the most important people in my life.

That said, for all of you that can co-parent amicably - THAT IS AWESOME!  I wish every parent had their child's best interest in mind!  You deserve a HUGE pat on the back!