It's An Award! Honest!

Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I received a comment from my bloggy friend FeliciaE over at Living Just Like Grandma.  She wanted to let me know show had bestowed the honor of an award on me.  I got really excited!  I mean, really?!?!?  Who doesn't LOVE awards?!? (If you say you don't, I'm calling you a big, fat liar!)  Even more exciting, it's the Honest Scrap award.  I don't know who started this award, but I've been DYING to get it!  Weird, I know, but I love, love, love the graphic.  Call me crazy...  So thank you SOOOO  much Felicia!  I will display it proudly!

Here are the rules:

1.) Present this award to 7 others whose blogs I find brilliant in content and/or design, or those who have encouraged me.

2.) Tell those 7 people they've been awarded HONEST SCRAP and inform them of these guidelines in receiving the award.

3.) Share "10 Honest Things" about myself.

So, here it goes!!!

Daffy at Batcrap Crazy - She's a new bloggy friend.  I know she already has this award, but she makes me laugh, so I'm awarding her again.

Nancy at If Evolution Really Works - Again, I know she already has this one, but she cracks me up and I wanted to show her a little love and gratitude.

Leigh at Leigh vs. Laundry - What can I say?  I mean really?  A pegasus in the salsa?  She's gotta be amazing to be raising a kid with an imagination like that!

Charmaine at Middle Aged Dating - You've gotta love a woman that bulldozes an ungrateful's place...  Hehehe!  Can I borrow your bulldozer, please?

Lisa Anne at Smell the Coffee Lisa - One again, she already has this award, but since I've been following her, I've come to the conclusion there is nothing this woman can't do!

Lunhatikk at Attitude of Gratitude - Not only is it damn hard to be that grateful all of the time, she is a kick arse face/body painter.

Amy at My LaLa Land - An adorable, 20-something, non-mommy blogger I heart.

Now for 10 Honest Things About Myself

1. I never wanted to be a mom, but my kids are my whole world and the force that drives my lazy butt out of bed every day.  They are the cheese to my macaroni.

2. I am involved in animal rescue, mostly bully breeds, and have had over 100 different foster dogs in the last 10 years.  Check out Underdog Rescue.  It was started and is run by my friend Shannon.

3. I was laid off last April (2008).  I have no desire to go back to work full time.

4. I'm looking into going back to school in the spring.  I always wanted to be a veterinarian.  Marriage and kids halted that...

5. I am a movie junkie.  I own over 300 DVDs, still have an extensive VHS collection, AND DVR tons of movies weekly.  Being an only parent only enables this addiction.  (Hey!  It's better than crack!)

6. I love trying new beers.  When I travel, I always try local or regional microbrews.  My favorite beer (currently) is Spotted Cow from New Glarus, WI.

7. I am a REALLY BIG DORK.  I love sci-fi and fantasy.  I watch Star Wars (The Clone Wars cartoons), read Tolkien, and love things like The Dark Crystal.

8. I was supposed to get married this year (10.17.09 to be exact).  My ex-beau (Chef) is 7 years younger than me and is probably one of my best friends in the whole wide world.  I love him very much but think he is too young to settle down.

9. I have two brothers.  Redneck Brother and Baby Brother.  Redneck Brother lives about 15 minutes away from me and I see him maybe  a dozen times a year.  His wife was diagnosed with breast cancer last week.  Please pray for them.  Baby Brother lives in Chicagoland with his wife (Wonder Woman).  They are high school sweethearts and have 4 B-E-A-Utiful boys that I adore.

10. I believe that my husband's death was a blessing in disguise.  Some feel that is callus, but I don't care.  My kids don't have to live with his demons and broken promises.  I think that is far healthier than having a crackhead dad that pops in and out at his convenience leaving a wake of heartache in his path.

So, that's that!  Check out the 7 fabulous women I listed above and have an amazing day!

D-d-d-d-dating!?!?!

I can honestly say that I suck at dating.

I serial dated for a while, after my husband died.  That was easy.  I was in a complete unattachment mode, so the men that I dated were just time killers and space fillers.  Sad, but true.

In the last five years, I have had three boyfriends.  I was with Chef for three of those years.  We broke up last August when wedding planning spooked him.  We would be getting married in 9 days.  The fun part is, we are really great friends.

Dating Chef, and then Iowa for 6 months after him, changed the way I look at dating.  I realized, while dating these men, that I am looking for more than a dinner companion.  I don't want a buddy to go to the movies with, or someone to buy me drinks when we're out.  I want a partner.

So how do I define what I am looking for?  And how long does it take to determine?  When I spend time with Dream Guy, everything seems to click.  Conversation is easy, silence is easy, everything is easy and comfortable.  Sadly, our timelines are completely out of wack.  I'm looking for someone to share life with, he wants to see what's out there.  While I know I need to cut that loss and be okay with only being friends (which I totally am!  I'm so not willing to throw away 15 years of friendship!), it frustrates me to know I have to continue trying to find that ease and comfort with someone else.

I feel like dating is a job.  I wonder sometimes where to fit it in.  I strive to not let my motherhood define me, as I am more than just a mom.  However, my commitments to my kids do take priority over commitments to people I may or may not want a relationship with.  Or maybe I use my commitment to my children as an excuse to not honor a commitment to myself.  I dunno.... 

What I do know is while parenting The Boy and The Girl is the most rewarding role I've ever had, at some point they will take a life path of their own.  And when they do, I know that I would like to have someone by my side as a partner in my continued journey.  My kids are still young and I have plenty of time, but I feel like it would be nice to have someone along for the ride while the memories of this part of the journey are being made.