Stick It!

Here we go!!!  I've been MIA for a few days, and here's what I have to say about it...

Damn Surprise Visits

So, my parents are coming this weekend.  (In case you didn't get the memo.)  While I am very excited to see them, I'm kinda panicking.  Why?  It's been since March since I've seen them.  Usually, I go to them, in Chicago.  If I were to venture a guess, I'd say it's been 2 - 3 years since they've been to Minnesota.  And truthfully, it's probably been about 4 - 5 years since they've come to my house.

So why am I panicking, you ask?  Well, let's just say that my home is definitely "lived in".  With 3 cats, 2 kids (with broken arms the inability to pick up after themselves), and a revolving door to all of the neighborhood children (and more than that), my house often looks as though a bomb went off.  Don't get me wrong, we don't live in filth and squalor, we just don't exactly apply the "a place for everything and everything in it's place" philosophy here.  (Much to my dismay.)

My dad and step-mom?  Neat freaks.  Their home?  Museumesque. 

Now, generally speaking, I can find PLENTY to do with my folks that keep them the hell out of my house, but since I was laid off in April of 2008, I have done A LOT of redecorating in my house.  For some reason, my step-mom (who I think is incredible and has spotty memory due to a brain anuerysm 6 years ago) has remembered that she hasn't seen my home in YEARS and would really love to do an early Christmas at my house.  Had they given me a few weeks notice, I could probably have hit up the Flylady and applied some of her super intense "get your shit ready for the holidays" tips, but they didn't.  They told me on Tuesday.  Yep, 2 DAYS AGO!

Guess what!?!?  I don't have my Christmas tree up.  I don't have any Christmas baking done (my dad is a super cookie monster).  I don't have any gifts wrapped.  I don't have any Christmas decorations up.  All in all, I'm really not ready for this.

So?  My plan?  I'm sooo gonna see if they want to meet me at the Science Museum.  If I can occupy them there and wear them out, I can probably wear them out enough to have them suggest dinner out and NEVER make it as far as the suburb where I live!!! (YES!!!)  It's sketchy, but it might work!  And yes, I have a back-up plan...  They aren't planning on seeing us until Sunday.  So everyone is grounded until the house is clean(er) and The Man has been recruited to carrying the Christmas tree in tonight (SURPRISE, babe!). 

Wish me luck!

Meeting the Family?

New relationships are often blissful...

The Man (I know, not a very creative name.  Deal.)  and I have been spending a lot of time together.  I am completely smitten, and he has met my kids.  They are both HUGE fans.

The Man is divorced.  He has a son that lives in Colorado.  The son will be here on Friday.

My dad called yesterday.  He and my step-mom will also be here on Friday. 

I'm super excited to see my parents.  The Man is super excited to see his boy. 

This is where it gets scary.  The Man wants me to meet his son....And he would like to meet my folks.  Eeek!

Why so scary, you ask?  Because his son is only going to be here for 10 days.  I don't want to interupt the short period of time they have together.  The Man is sure he wants to integrate the two fams for the 10 day period as much as possible.  While I don't think it will be disastrous (far from it, actually), I'm just not sure.

As far as the "meeting the parents" thing goes - I'm totally comfortable with it. 

Okay, maybe not TOTALLY... 

We haven't really had any "relationship" talks.  While we did decide we were happy seeing only one another, we haven't really begun planning together.  Do you know what I mean?  Like, when we're making individual plans, we don't really check in with each other.  We just kinda spend time together if we have time or when it works out.  I actually can't think of a single time we've planned to do anything together in advance...

So I guess what I'm saying is, I don't really know that I see us as a couple.  And you don't really introduce your parents to someone you're just dating.  Does that make sense?

Maybe I'm just being paranoid, worrying about a whole lot of nothing.  I do know that I am totally comfortable talking to him about anything, so we will be talking this through.  Any words of wisdom or thoughts are welcome, as always.

Because It Was So Much Fun... Stick 'Em Up!

Because it was so much fun the first time AND I have so much to say...

Time to Move South

Winter in Minnesota is cold.  And snowy.  I'm not a big fan of either.  I have a friend in Florida that told me this morning it is supposed to be in the 80's there the next few days.  That One Mom = Jealous.

The idea of summer-like weather got me thinking.  It is currently summer in the Southern Hemisphere.  Australia is in the Southern Hemisphere.  I should move to Australia!  In addition to sun and surf, Australia has Simon Baker!!!

Mmmmmmmmm.....

I know, it's a stretch.  AND he's married...  But really, can you blame me for wanting to get my fingers into these locks?

Granted, the probability of me actually meeting him, or any other man on The List is slim to none, I can't really imagine anything better to fill my hormonal daydreaming...

Happy Monday, ladies...  Again, I know I'm a day late.  Better late than never, though...

P.S. This one is for the guys!!!

Life 2 Us

One of my favorite things about blogging is the sense of community established among bloggers. Since I've begun blogging, I have met many amazing people and developed some fantastic friendships. In addition, I have learned sooo much. Blogging has opened up a whole new world to me, comprised of men and women experiencing life from a whole different perspective, and offering up a whole new world of insight.

That said, my friend Nancy at If Evolution Really Works has recently developed a new blogging community called Life 2 Us. The site is fully comprised of articles contributed by members. It offers insights from mothers experiencing all walks of life. In the last week, I've read about the life of a foster mom, a mother of multiples, and have swapped stories with mothers of children with special needs. 

If you haven't been by, I definitely recommend it! And join the community as well!

Snow Day

Last night I fell asleep clutching my Blackberry.  The wind was howling, snow was falling, and my toes were cold.  Very, very cold.  I don't like to sleep with socks on.  I suffered the consequences.

I digress...  Back to the Blackberry...

See, I'm good at lots of stuff.  Maintaining a schedule is not one of them.  When I worked, I relied on BFF to keep me abreast of certain things.  What time school started, when there were scheduled days off, late starts, and snow days to name a few.  Even after I was laid off, BFF regularly kept me updated on the "things I needed to know".  As I've told you, BFF recently moved to BFFE (Bum F**k Effin' Egypt).  She now lives 5 hours north of me.  What does this have to do with falling asleep clutching a Blackberry, you ask?  Everything.

See, it was snowing last night.  A lot.  And with BFF so far away, I, for the first time in my life as a mother, needed to keep myself informed of school delays and/or closings!  So not only did I sign up for weather alerts from the Twin Cities Weather Center, I signed up for school delay and closing updates from one of the local news stations.  All of these updates were being sent to my Blackberry.  (See!  Method to my madness.)  It turns out that the schools in my fun little suburb were in fact closed today (which is amazing to me).  And I found out ALL BY MYSELF...  *proud panda*

Here's the best part, though.  Because I slept clutching my Blackberry, I received a message from BFF around 6:30 this morning telling me that schools in my town were closed and I could stay in bed.  Even 5 hours away she is taking care of me...  I feel so loved.

Ok, it's not this bad, but wouldn't it suck if it were?

Stick 'Em Up

I'd like to say that I've been planning on joining in on this meme for a while, but that would be a lie.  I'm just really damn lazy and didn't think another post on The Girl escaping death's clutches would be fitting today.  So, here it is, kids..

Ok, that was fun...  Happy Tuesday, all!!!

Sex Pot

The Man, the kids, and I went to see The Fantastic Mr. Fox this weekend. 

Yes.  The Man has met the kids.  The Girl is completely smitten with him.  Quite honestly, so is her mother, but that's a whole other Oprah.

Anywho - seeing that movie this weekend, listening to the sound of George Clooney's voice, I was reminded just how sexy that man is.  I know it's totally cliche and all, but damn...  There's a reason women love him.

So, this week's edition of The Future Ex-Husband's List, albeit a day late (Sorry, I took The Girl to the Clear Channel Train Wreck called Jingle Ball yesterday....  Justin Bieber was there....) brings you the one, the only, George Clooney!

Truly, there is nothing sexier than a man with a good sense of humor!

OH! And for the Throwing Mike a Bone segment, I bring you the young and beautiful

Natalie Portman.

An Apology, Kinda

The Girl and I got into a fight again on Tuesday.  She has been on a hot streak of  defiance the last few weeks.  The final straw was catching her removing my last pair of contact lenses from the packet and trying to put them in her eyes.

I blew a gasket.  I freaked the eff out!

Just days after losing my wedding ring (she was playing with it while I was in the shower and lost it in her room), days after being told that under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is she to touch things that don't belong to her, I catch her with her dirty little fingers in my contacts.

I asked her (in a very loud and pissed off voice) what she thought she was doing.  I asked if she remembered the conversation we had when she lost my ring.  I asked where she got the idea to get into my contacts.  All she could say was she didn't know. 

I lost it.  She was sent to her room.  Indefinately.

On Wednesday, upon picking the kids up from school, I received a letter from The Girl.  The teachers told me she came in before the morning bell and asked to use the computer.  This is what she wrote (posted in the same format - all caps and bold):

DEAR MOM,
     I AM SORRY I WAS YELLING AT YOU.  I AM SORRY I MADE YOU MAD.

BUT YOU NEED TO WORK ON YOUR YELLING A LOT.  SO I WILL NOT TALK TO YOU WHEN YOU ARE YELLING.  AND WHEN YOU ARE MAD AT ME GO TAKE A BREAK IN YOUR BEDROOM.

Sincerly,

The Girl

She's right.  I do.  I should take breaks when I am that mad.  They should also not follow me into my room when I am trying to take a break when I am really mad.  But really?  Is that even an apology?  Is she accepting any responsibilty for her actions?  Is there an implication that she will be working to change her behavior?

While I am very impressed by her insightfulness and suggestion for a better means of communication between us, I am not impressed with her apology.

Talk About Scams

I don't have a landline. 

My children, ages 9 and 10, have a cell phone they share.  I allow them to take it with them while they are outside playing.  It is used for emergencies when they are home with a babysitter.  They also use it to talk to their friends.

In order to have unlimited text messaging on my phone, I had to have it available on all of my phones.  Recently, I discovered the kids' phone was receiving text messages from a "love advice" messager.

Without my knowledge, one of my children sent a text to a number advertised on the TV, and subscribed to this text messaging advice line.

I called my wireless provider, and they said that I am responsible for all costs affliated with this subscription.  Whether I gave permission for them to subscribe or not. 

I did some research online to determine what to do about this "subscription" and was shocked by what I found.  While I can block all premium texting (that's the technical term for these subscriptions), I have to contact the company that issues these texts to dispute the charges.  I am fortunate, my charges are not in excess of $20.00.  I happened to catch this in time.  But I still am disputing the payment.

Here is what else I found out.   The company is called CellFish Media.  The Girl and her friends got the number off of Cartoon Network.  The service "PersonalLoveco" is the same as 21222 and "CellFish Media" They advertise themselves on Cartoon network telling kids that if they text to 21222 they can chat about love relationships, etc.  This is directed to children! You can text 21222 with the word "cancel" to cancel the service from your child's phone, but you can expect two final charges, one text plus a reply from them about the cancellation.

I received a telephone number from my wireless provider, allowing me to call and talk to them about the charges.  I was unable to reach a live person and instructed to leave a message.  The message said to expect a call from a customer service rep within two business days....  We will see...

P.S. I think I will also be writing an email to the Cartoon Network advertising department regarding the content of the advertising they are selling...