Sunshine and roses...
Rainbows and unicorns...
These are the feelings one usually associates with the life changes being experienced in my home currently.
Yes, it's true. I am getting married, and I am on Cloud 9.
I have committed to forever after with the man I love. So what's the catch?
For the last 11 years, my family has been a three-man team.
Our non-routine life revolved around us. Our nuances, our struggles, our perfect imperfections. Despite the highest of highs and incredibly low lows, we worked.
Sure, there were the days I locked myself in my closet and sobbed until I couldn't possibly shed another tear. And let's not forget the nights I would cry myself to sleep, desperate for answers, clinging to the hope that God would see us through another day.
But despite the clouds of heartache that came alongside my daughter's behavioral and mental health issues, despite the anger and rage welling up inside my son when he'd reach his limits of tolerence, and despite my depression that waxed and waned with the tide of our home, we were happy.
The fact is, I have been a widow longer than I was ever a wife. I have been an only parent for 11 years. My children have no idea what a dad really is. What does a dad do? How does a dad act? What is a dad's role in a family? The only man I have ever lived with is my husband, and that was for less than 2 years. I don't know how to co-parent. I don't know how to let someone else participate. I don't know how to let someone do for me (without feeling guilty). And I don't know how to ask for help.
We are all adjusting. Including him.
He has never been married. He has never had kids. He has never lived with a woman...until he moved in with us.
Most days are great. We communicate well. He listens when I talk, I listen when he talks. Every once in a while the kids will even listen when someone talks. And we adjust...
Who knew that sharing my life - my family - would come with such a learning curve?
Each day brings a new challenge, and a new joy. Having a partner in life is more rewarding than I ever imagined. I know in time, this new way of being, this new family, will find its groove.
Have you ever had to make major adjustments in your own life?