Wednesday, March 30, 2011

From Son Up 'Til Son Down... And Then Some


This week I am linking up with my dear friend Shell at Things I Can't Say.
For more information on how you can Pour Your Heart Out,
click HERE.

Life is a juggling act.

Every morning I grudgingly pull myself from bed to wake my son from his peaceful slumber. That's really the only peaceful thing he does these days.

From there I listen to him complain. He complains about his school uniform, packing a lunch, his new Doc Martens that he had to have. He complains on the way to the bus about his bus ride, about his teachers, and about his school. Then he complains that I will be at work when he arrives home.

It seems as though at 12, my once thoughtful and considerate son has forgotten about anyone but himself.

He neglects to realize that from dropping him off, I head to work. He doesn't consider that I am learning a new job. It escapes him that I have spent the last three weeks deciding where to send his sister for the rest of the school year. It doesn't concern him that I am distraught by his suffering grades or his extreme negativity. He completely forgets that I am also bearing the weight of a full college course load.

As I arrive home in the evening, my hopes of enjoying our newly found family time come crashing down as his complaining begins again. There is nothing to eat (nothing meaning he didn't want to take the time to make himself a snack). He has too much homework. His sister is wearing his sweatshirt. Why won't I let him have his XBox back?

I feed them dinner, get chores and extra-curriculars out of the way, and sit down to breathe and begin my own schoolwork. Only I don't get the opportunity to get much done. I am endlessly interrupted by him wanting help folding his laundry. He wants to express his frustration with having to clean up after our pets. Oh! And could I please give him a tummy rub? It will only take a minute.

Finally, after both of the kids are tucked in for the night, I get the chance to catch up on the things I have left to do. I can do my schoolwork. I am able to catch up on laundry. I even have a little bit of time to say hello to you.

At an hour entirely to late to think about, I finally lay my weary head down for the night. I pray to the Lord for the strength and energy to do it all again the next day. Oh! And that my son broadens his world view.


Di said...

Oh goodness - and I thought adjusting to going back to work after having Jellybean was hard. Big Hugs to you. I'm so sorry you have so much on your plate. Hopefully as he gets older he will be able to appreciate everything you do!

Kim said...

I'm not looking forward to this phase with my kids. You have a lot going on! Teens are infamous for their self-centredness, won't it be nice when he grows out of this!

J-Tony said...

Hang in there. Sometimes its hard for kids to see/think of anything but themselves. I'm sure as he gets older he will appreciate all you do.

Rachel said...

Wow, sounds like your son and my son have been hanging out. Must be the age. Let's hope it's a phase they grow out of soon.

Anonymous said...

I am not looking forward to that age! I am exhausted just reading this!

Unknown said...

They all do it at that age.. trust me mine were about that age when the world began revolving around them.

Renegades said...

Sounds like being a mother. :)

PBJdreamer said...

wow....that must be frustrating.

Just an idea, can you reward him when he goes one full day with no complaining or negativity?
Like with x box time or one on one outing with you?

I know for me that being negative can become a habit that is hard to break.

hang in there

Ducky said...

It is a tough age....were we that self absorbed? Is it grace and mercy that I don't remember that part of being 12? I'd tell you to remember to take deep breaths but I've been doing so much of that lately that I'm bordering on hyperventilating which doesn't help much either. I'm guessing The Boy would be really annoyed if you blacked out in the middle of him talking *grin*

The good news? Its likely a phase just like Lil Duck entering the terrible threes....the bad news its going to take endurance and TONS of kneemail to get through it. You need wonder woman underoos!

Losing Brownies said...

I don't look forward to those teen years at all. I hope that your son will mature enough to see what a hard working mom you are.

Shell said...

Definitely not looking forward to this age!

Btw, I linked you this morning, it's just taken me a while to get back and read.

Rebecca said...

my son just turned 11 and so far life with him has be easy

Anonymous said...

Obviously I havent been by in awhile - I LOVE your new blog look! So cute!

Kids are selfish little creatures. And actually boys just grow up to be selfish men.

Maybe tell him he can only complain about 3 things - so pick the best ones to complain about kid! OR - tell him that he has to say 2 nice things before he can launch into the next complaint.
OR - Cut him off and ask him about the best part of his day. We do high/low sometimes, I ask them what the best part of their day was (the high) and what was the worst (the low). My kids like it. It gives them each a chance to share and vent.

Diane said...

I feel your pain. My oldest is 11 and a half and he too has this kind of attitude most of the time.

Babes Mami said...

I am so not looking forward to this age! I hope that he mellows out soon and give you strength not to kick him!

Lindsey said...

I am a newly single mom. I am glad to know that I'm not just "doing it wrong." My boys are only 5 and 3 so we have a long way to go.

Unknown said...

Oh goodness, I am not looking forward to that age. I guess it's when we learn what our patience is made of, huh?? Hopefully, this is a phase, and a quick one at that!

Bees With Honey said...

Wow, I think your son and my oldest daughter should get together. I thought your blog post today was written by me about my life and my complaining 12 year-old daughter. I guess it's normal,after all :)

TDM Wendy said...

Keep on going and lovin' mama!
My kids who are much younger like to complain to and it is tough. Trying to teach them gratefulness... so I took away all their food and clothing for 48 hours. They don't complain anymore. Kidding. Kidding.
And thanks for coming by the fake party :)

Andrea said...

I like mama BlueZoo's high/low suggestion and try to use it with my four year old. I plan on using it when she is older, lots and lots of times. Sorry he isn't quite getting how rough this is for you,but that seems to be the way it goes with kids ... Oy. Hugs, mama!

Kelli said...

it's crazy how self-absorbed kids can be. he will appreciate you one day. not only will he appreciate you, but will be amazed by your strength and determination.
thanks for sharing!

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