Thursday, December 17, 2009

Damn Surprise Visits

So, my parents are coming this weekend.  (In case you didn't get the memo.)  While I am very excited to see them, I'm kinda panicking.  Why?  It's been since March since I've seen them.  Usually, I go to them, in Chicago.  If I were to venture a guess, I'd say it's been 2 - 3 years since they've been to Minnesota.  And truthfully, it's probably been about 4 - 5 years since they've come to my house.

So why am I panicking, you ask?  Well, let's just say that my home is definitely "lived in".  With 3 cats, 2 kids (with broken arms the inability to pick up after themselves), and a revolving door to all of the neighborhood children (and more than that), my house often looks as though a bomb went off.  Don't get me wrong, we don't live in filth and squalor, we just don't exactly apply the "a place for everything and everything in it's place" philosophy here.  (Much to my dismay.)

My dad and step-mom?  Neat freaks.  Their home?  Museumesque. 

Now, generally speaking, I can find PLENTY to do with my folks that keep them the hell out of my house, but since I was laid off in April of 2008, I have done A LOT of redecorating in my house.  For some reason, my step-mom (who I think is incredible and has spotty memory due to a brain anuerysm 6 years ago) has remembered that she hasn't seen my home in YEARS and would really love to do an early Christmas at my house.  Had they given me a few weeks notice, I could probably have hit up the Flylady and applied some of her super intense "get your shit ready for the holidays" tips, but they didn't.  They told me on Tuesday.  Yep, 2 DAYS AGO!

Guess what!?!?  I don't have my Christmas tree up.  I don't have any Christmas baking done (my dad is a super cookie monster).  I don't have any gifts wrapped.  I don't have any Christmas decorations up.  All in all, I'm really not ready for this.

So?  My plan?  I'm sooo gonna see if they want to meet me at the Science Museum.  If I can occupy them there and wear them out, I can probably wear them out enough to have them suggest dinner out and NEVER make it as far as the suburb where I live!!! (YES!!!)  It's sketchy, but it might work!  And yes, I have a back-up plan...  They aren't planning on seeing us until Sunday.  So everyone is grounded until the house is clean(er) and The Man has been recruited to carrying the Christmas tree in tonight (SURPRISE, babe!). 

Wish me luck!


Ducky said...


Got a nearby bakery? Grab those cookies! Not that I've ever done such a thing to pass off as my own (crosses fingers behind back)

Travis said...

I love how you use "strategic grounding" in your house.

That's probably what I'll call my punishments. "Strategic hitting" sounds so much better than child abuse.

Oh, and what a lucky guy. He get's to get all scratchy and shit because you hate Christmas.

Andrea said...

Woah! Two days is NOT nearly enough notice! Get those kids and the man to work. And break-n-bake cookies are really easy and totally yum. Clip some coupons (or I'll send you some) and get to the store! ;)

June said...

Too bad you are not in the neighborhood. I would recruit my mother to help you get the house cleaned up in exchange for beer. She loves to drink and clean - And that's real!

Mike said...

Good luck.

KristinFilut said...

Yeah, I was gonna start cleaning today... Then I got side tracked... And I drove to St. Paul... And I just got home... And I'm leaving again in an hour... I'm totally screwed.

adrienzgirl said...

So...we are on to Plan C is it?

Menopausal New Mom said...

Holy Crap! You need to get on the phone and call in every favor your girlfriends owe you and get them all to pitch in! Get cooking, wrapping, cleaning, tree decorating the lot. Just buy a couple of bottles of wine and call it a party!

RUBY said...

too funny i hope ur plan works i feel the same way when my parents decide to call me when they are getting off the fwy exit to my house that literally gives me enough time for ugh nothing!
goodluck said...

Good luck!! Sounds like you have a great distraction/delay plan!!!!

Just A Normal Mom said...

GOOD LUCK! I have neat freak parents, too. I go on a cleaning freak out when my dad comes.

Tracie said...

I hope it worked!

Merry Christmas to you and your kiddos!

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