Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Plenty of Fish My Ass...

So, I've had a profile on an internet dating site for about 6 months now.  Ohmygosh!!!  Sometimes I wonder what the hell people think!!!

First of all, I get a lot of emails.  I will admit, in that forum, I am VERY shallow.  I look at the profile of the person emailing me and if I don't like the picture and the profile, I delete the email.  I mean, why not?  What obligation do I have to respond?  None.


Honestly though!  In 6 months I have come across 2 people I've felt had been worth talking to.  And I've only met one of them.  Most of the emails I get are from icky creeper types that are either A.) Old enough to be my dad or B.) Not someone I have anything in common with. 

Really, what I'd like to write in my profile is:
If you can't spell and you don't have a basic working knowledge of the English language, please don't write.
If your idea of a good profile picture has you holding an animal you shot or caught with a fishing rod, please don't write.
If you have more pictures of yourself with some type of automobile than with friends or family, please don't write.
If you state in your profile that you don't want kids, please don't write...  My profile clearly states I am a widow AND have two kids.
If you would never actually walk up to me and say hello in person, please don't write.
If you have children my age, please don't write.
P.S. A picture of you with a half dozen drunk ass chicks screams DOUCHEBAG.  Please don't write.

Maybe I'm an ass, but that's just the way I feel.  Is that so bad?

16 comments:

Daffy said...

Hell no! I think it would be kinda funny if you wrote all that. It may weed out all the creepies. Before I got married, I think there was some sort of magnetic force field around. I seemed to be fly paper for freaks.

I'm sure in your case, its just because you are smokin hot lady! (remember I'm married... I'm not hittin' on ya - justsayin...)

Cat said...

I'm definitely with you. But I'm in the south and if you weeded out all the pictures of guys in front of ATVs, trucks, fish, or deer, you'd be left with 4 guys, all over 50.

Lisa Anne said...

OHhh man, I can't stop laughing. That is hilarious. Girl If I were you i'd totally put that in your profile. You are being honest and who knows it may help you to find mr "right" instead of MR "oh so wrong"

MindyMom said...

From my experience, which is mcuh like yours, that site should be called 'Plenty of Frogs'.

Nancy@ifevolutionworks.com said...

I'd post those comments too! Why not tell it like it is. My girlfriend is on Match and she put in "no bowlers or nascar fans". Shallow? Who cares...that's what she wants.

semihippysinglemum said...

Hilarious! I don't think any of that makes you shallow. It's what you want, but with a hint of sarcasm...perfect!!

Ashley Dawn said...

I L.O.V.E it!! I would soooo post that on my profile... Do it and see if your response changes...

Michele said...

I have always heard the same thing from POF... I think it's where all the freaks hang out (men, that is).

I love your list... you should TOTALLY put that in your profile!!and btw... I would not respond to someone I didn't think was attractive ~ it's not shallow at all! I mean, you got to wanna kiss them at some point hey?

You rock!!

Erin M. said...

I agree--put this list up so they can see. And it's funny, & who doesn't love a woman with a wicked sense of humor (not that it's a joke, b/c it obviously isn't, but you say it in a funny way).

That One Mom said...

@ MindyMom - frogs would imply that if I kiss one, it will turn into a prince... I'm thinking not so much... more like Plenty of Pigs.

Maybe I will change my profile, just for fun. I wonder how many more nasty-grams I would get. I already get chewed out for just deleting emails! LOL!!!

Tattoos and Teething Rings said...

I think you should definitely post those rules! They are too funny, and it may help to weed out some of the wackos.

kys said...

I think you should do it. And then do a follow up post and let us know the results.

Andrea (ace1028) said...

Seriously, go for it! This one is my fave: 'If you can't spell and you don't have a basic working knowledge of the English language, please don't write.' ;)

Phil said...

I agree with all your comments except one - 'don't want kids' can mean don't want to have another baby. I met my girlfriend through Match over a year ago. I had marked 'don't want kids' (more kids... I have two teenagers). She has two elementary age kids. It has worked out very well.

If you want to have more children, then yes, ignore those profiles.

There are some decent guys out there - but yes, you need to go through a lot of bad ones.

Lunhatikk said...

I absolutely agree, I think that would all be perfect to put in your profile! Love it! Good luck with all that.

T said...

I love it! What a great list! I was very forward like that on my online profile. I quoted Meredith Brooks' song "Bitch".

It definitely weeded out the ones who couldn't handle me!

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