Never A Dull Moment

There are all kinds of methods one can use to pick someone up in a bar.  Especially when the one you're trying to pick up is required by means of their employment to talk to you.

Generally speaking, I'm not one to get hit on.  When I am out with my girlfriends, I serve the purpose of a bouncer at a velvet rope night club and determine which of the wanna-be suitors and/or dance partners are worthy of my beautiful friends.

There are two situations in which I have had someone buy me a drink.  A). It's someone's turn to buy a round, or 2). A guy is trying to "make a good impression" while attempting to talk to one of my girlfriends.  I find it all rather humorous.  I've always been just one of the guys, so the idea of being hit on is highly entertaining.

SO...  Friday night, I was at work, like I usually am on Friday nights.  I happened to be discussing the greatness of the Minnesota Twins and New England Patriots in the Bledsoe days with a young man sitting at the bar.  Mid conversation, a large group of twenty-something guys walk in and take over my bar.  They carry on in a loud, rowdy manner.  They were actually quite fun, but after a couple of hours they decided to hop their way on over to the bar across the street.  While cleaning up my bar, I come across this...

(In case you can't see it, it says, "This might be a little forward but I would like to get to know you more.  CALL ME - Brian 123-456-7890)

Ok, Brian is the real name, the phone # is OBVIOUSLY made up - by me.

This is by far the funniest thing that has ever happened to me while at work.  I truly did laugh out loud.  I  mean really?!?!?  That's how you pick up women?  Not only is it cheesy and passive, it demonstrates lack of confidence AND the grammar and punctuation is bad!  (Ok, I'll admit, I don't expect a literary masterpiece - especially on the back of a dollar - but if I'm gonna tear the guy down, I may as well do it thoroughly.)

The funniest part is, someone had told this guy that I literally laughed out loud at his demonstration of interest!  He came back and called me on it, too!!!  I was sooo busted!  He asked for the dollar back, said he would trade me for one that wasn't written on, if I had no intention of calling.  I certainly couldn't allow that to happen!  Then what would I show you?!?!  So I told him, "Well of course I laughed.  There were at least 8 of you in here and I find a dollar bill with a name and phone number asking me to call?  I thought it was funny because there was no way for me to know who I was calling."

I did tell him that I probably wouldn't call, so I didn't lead the guy on, but really?  If you wanted to talk to me that badly, wouldn't it have been far easier to say, "Hello."?