Today I am linking up with my friend Shell at Things I Can't Say.
Her screams rip through my ears.
"I hate you! I hate you! My life is Hell and I ruined your life!"
I want to hold her. I want to wipe her tears.
Instead, I dodge a shoe.
"You wish I was dead! You wish I was never born!"
I want her know know that she is an amazing gift. I want her to know that I am thankful for every day I have with her.
Instead, I dodge a photo album.
Blankets are ripped off the back of the couch and thrown across the room.
Homework and artwork are torn to shreds at her feet.
I dodge ceramic coasters.
The surface of the coffee table is wiped clean by an angry arm. Everything is on the floor.
My daughter lies in a sobbing heap on top of it.
She is still screaming, but the words are intelligible.
I am waiting.
Waiting for her to reach out to me.
Waiting for her to be ready to be consoled.
Until then, all I can do is watch.
"Mommy!!!" she finally cries out.
"Mommy! I love you!"
Her body is shaking as the tears stream down her face.
I take her into my arms and she crawls into my lap. Her breaths are shallow. Her voice is weary.
"I'm sorry, Mommy. I love you. Please love me, Mommy. Please."
Now is my chance. I reassure her...
"I love you, baby girl, with every ounce of my being."
I rub her back. I brush her hair from her face, wiping away her tears.
And we rock....