Tuesday, September 28, 2010

I Did It! I Poured My Heart Out!


I feel a little bit stuck.

There are a lot of thoughts busying themselves in my head.  While I can talk the ear off a deaf man, I am having a difficult time finessing the English language into text. 

When I started this blog just over a year ago, the intent was to share the things that happen in my life that cause me to shake my head and look for the film crew.  I intended to chronicle my daily struggle with being mom and woman, not allowing the prior to define the latter.

I look back through my archives and I realize there is so much that has been left unsaid.  Unsaid because I can't find the words.  Unsaid because I'm not sure that this is the place for it.  My intention wasn't to write day in and day out about the amazingness of my spawn.  While they are quite remarkable and very unique, my completely biased perception of them can only be handled by others in doses.  I wrote a bit about dating then met a man that could quite possibly become a permanent addition to this family of three.  I have told you pieces of my struggle with my daughter's ADHD and ODD, but not to the point that those unfamiliar with the disorders can comprehend the havoc it wreaks on me and my son.  But that is her story and I don't want for her to look back one day and tell me it wasn't mine to tell.

So where do I go from here?  What parts of my story should I tell? Where do I see this adventure taking me?  I don't feel like I've said all I want to say.  I'm excited about the relationships I've built by having this blog and I look forward to creating more.  There are so many things I feel strongly about and I see this blog as a platform to bring these issues and passions to the attention of my readers.  I may not fit into a particular niche, so I guess I will create my own...  The "True to Myself" niche.  I will do my best to write about things that are true to me.  They may not always be passionate, they may not always be noble, but they will always be 100% me.

22 comments:

One Cluttered Brain said...

That's right. Being true to yourself on your blog is the ONLY way to go.
Great post lady!

bigguysmama said...

You know I've come to a realization recently that I wasn't even "blogging". I had a site that was book reviews, just on a blog platform. Now, I'm beginning to blog. Because now I understand it differently.

I'm trying to figure out who I am in the scheme of blogging and it's weird and scary. Will people even care who I am? What will I sound like?

Blessings on your journey!

~Mimi

adrienzgirl said...

Get. out. of. my. head.

Anyscary, I'm along for the ride, the journey and the most amazing friendships! :P

Brie said...

I think we all have these questions with blogging. For me, I used to censor myself, try to think of what was most appealing to a reader.

After a while I just had to say "Yeah, fk that. Here's the real Brie."

I don't get as many comments, maybe I've even lost a few followers, but damn do I feel good!

DG at Diary of a Mad Bathroom said...

That's the best niche to work from. The one that is true to self.

Angie said...

That is the best way to go! You have to be true to yourself in order to be true to anyone else!

Di said...

I think thats the best niche to be in. I don't fall under any category either but random works for me!

Jennifer Juniper said...

Great post.
I like the real life blogs like yours the best.. somehow I just can't get into the mommy. Blogs even though I'm a mommy myself..

Tamara aka Cheapskate Mom said...

You've always kept it real which is why I like you =)

I'm excited to hear that your man may become a part of your clan!

We really do need to plan a get together soon!

Renegades said...

The blogs I enjoy are the real blogs. Not just the peachy keen blogs. Where everything everywhere is sunshine and roses. Because simply that is not real. I'm into real. I am real.

Danielle said...

I feel the same way as you do sometimes about my blog. I don't say all of what I want out of fear of either being judged or hurting someone. So, we find our own niche and do what we have to. I will be here reading what ever you decide.

Buffee said...

I think my blog falls under the same "niche"!

As for telling your daughter's story, you're only telling your part of it. Maybe one day it will inspire her to tell her part of it?

I think the friendships part of blogging is the most surprising and rewarding for me.

Amanda said...

Being 100% you is what matters. I have honestly been blown away with the different directions my blog takes me ~ when I originally had a completely different purpose.

Babes Mami said...

Sounds fabulous!!

Diane said...

I feel much the same way. There are some things I wish I could blog about but everyone who knows me reads, or at least knows about, my blog. I say you can't go wrong with the "true to myself" niche. I love that! I get annoyed by blogs who are all "sunshine and rainbows" all the time. I mean, come on, nobody's life is that perfect!

Shell said...

And that is why I love you- because you're real.

I'm glad you linked up!

Just Another Mom of 2 said...

This is such a great post, and even better for me to read right now. I have been feeling so overwhelmed, so unsure of myself, my blogging. I have no idea where I am going to go, but I do know I feel better for starting to put out there what I feel like putting out there- blogging rules be darned. I just need to gain a bit more confidence (and a bit more time!)

Thanks for sharing your perspective!

M-Cat said...

Everyone has such personal reasons for blogging. You have to determine what your real intent is.

For me, mine is journaling. I leave it public so friends and family can keep up, and sometimes I just like a public forum to vent.
But in the end, it's for me. If someone finds it interesting to read or even dare I say funny from time to time, then I figure they can go ahead and enjoy at my expense. No biggie. It's all about me anyway... : )

purseblogger said...

Visiting via Shell's blog. I really think you should write about whatever you want to. I know that sounds cliche but it's true. This is your blog and your take on things. No one else's. I have so much more to say on my blog too. I am trying to figure out just how to do it. :)

Liz said...

If you feel that you want to tell your story, I think you should do it in installments and call it "The One Mom: The Prequel" :)

Ed said...

Keep doing what you're doing.

The Drama Mama said...

I find the line hard between what I can put out there on the internet and what is best kept on this side of the monitor. Once it's out there, you can't take it back, so I totally get it (and you know how much I get it too.). I'm looking forward to getting to know you. I'm glad that supah turned the PINT over to you, and I have made a new friend.

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