I'm Not Saying You Have To Like Everyone, Just Be Nice

If I have learned anything in my life, it is this - You can talk until you are blue in the face.  Unless you actions match your words, what you say has no meaning.

In the last year, I have been blessed to have developed a community to call my own in Blognia.  Like any other environment where people of different opinions, backgrounds, and belief systems congregate, there are different cliques and circles.  Not everyone gets along.  Not everyone agrees.  Not everyone is friends.  That, in my humble opinion is just fine.

When my daughter gets in a fight with her friends (which frequently happens among young girls), she is quick to use her wit and her words to lash out.  As her mother, I jump in and redirect her.  I let her know that it is okay to be mad and it is okay to be hurt.  It is not, however, okay to be mean.  Regardless of what has been said and what has been done, kindness and turning the other cheek is of the utmost importance.  In addition to teaching her these things in conversation, it is my responsibility to model these behaviors.

Certainly there are people in my life that have made me angry or hurt my feelings.  I know with certainly that everyone has people like that in their lives.  Why am I discussing all of that here?  What does any of this have to do with Blognia?

Just like in any other community, Blognia has what I refer to as "potstirrers", people who have had falling outs or disagreements that they just can't let go.  These potstirrers like to include other members of our community in their drama by writing hateful posts about the ways in which they've been wronged.  They visit the domains of the people by whom they feel scorned and leave nasty, hateful comments under an anonymous disguise.  Worst of all, they play a martyr and admit no role in the falling out, as though they were an innocent bystander, a victim of circumstance, when in reality they have lied, antagonized, and thrown people they called friends under the proverbial bus.

Sadly, I see this happening daily.  While I do my best to stay positive and not give the potstirrers the attention they so desire, it has come to a point where I feel something needs to be said. People I care about are being attacked in insidious ways.  Other people that have shown me kindness are being mocked and ridiculed.  While I know the nature of the potstirrer is to continue this attention craving behavior, I hope that the people that are being manipulated by and encouraging this behavior will begin to see through the mask and identify these people for what they are.

By continuing to visit their blogs and commenting on their rants of hatred, we are fueling them and giving the validation they desire and the motivaton to continue being unkind to other people we call friends.  While I know there is a good chance I will feel the backlash from this post by the type of person I have described above, I am hoping this post will encourage the rest of you to really think about the people you call friends in Blognia.  I challenge you to really think about who and what you are reading.  I encourage you, when coming across a blog that spews hatred toward others, that instead of validating it with comments, you click off.  Rememer, it costs nothing to say something kind, even less to shut up all together.