Saturday, June 19, 2010

I've Often Dreamed...

I sometimes imagine what it would be like to have a partner in parenting.  I don't just mean another parent that takes the kiddos for their scheduled visiting time 1 night a week, every other weekend, and 3 weeks in the summer (although, that would different, too).  I mean a partner. 

Envision this ~

You are a bartender.  You get home from work at 2:00 a.m. and instead of crawling into bed next to your significant other, there is a 9 year-old sprawled out across your bed.  The clean, folded laundry that was once perched neatly on the ottoman at the foot of the bed is now spread across your bedroom floor.  On the night stand to the right of the bed is an box full of hot wing bones.  The other night stand is home to a mostly empty cereal bowl and several half-full glasses of water and juice.  The TV is on and Nick at Nite is in full swing.  Unfortunately, the remote is nowhere to be found.  You put your pyjamas on and your body is screaming for your mattress, but first you pick up the garbage, retrieve your clothing from the floor, locate the remote, and turn off the TV.  It is now 3:00 a.m. You shove the 9 year-old over because you are far too tired to lug her little body back to her own room and fall into a fitfull sleep beside her.

In my imagination (you know, the one complete with a partner in parenting), I envision this ~

I am a bartender.  I get home from work at 2:00 a.m.  The house is not spotless, but it isn't trashed.  My loving partner had the children throw away their garbage and pick up after themselves before tucking them in to their OWN beds.  I come up the stairs and peek in on each of my sleeping children, kissing them tenderly on their heads.  I make my way to the bedroom, tripping over some cats and dogs along the way.  The TV is on and the man I love is sleeping peacefully - in the middle of the bed.  I get into my jammies, easily find the remote, still tightly gripped in my companion's hand.  It is now 2:15 a.m. I turn off the TV, shove the grown man over, and fall asleep spooned up next to him.

It may sound like a simple thing.  Far from unrealistic.  However, it is something I have never known.  I allow my mind to wander like this from time to time.  Not too far and not for too long.  I've found expectation is often paired with disappointment, so I'd hate to have my hopes up.  But just maybe...  Maybe someday a simple pleasure such as this doesn't have to live exclusively in my imagination.


June said...

Nope... not to much to ask or expect. Sorry honey.
Here's to dreaming and May your dreams come true some day SOON!!

Babes Mami said...

Hopefully your dream is made a reality! You describe a basic simple relationship between two people who love each other. You deserve it and you will get it and appreciate it much more!

I can't relate to your 'situation' at all but I hope that you get this for you.

Richele McFarlin said...

I hope you will live your dream one day!

Thanks for commenting on my blog. While we have a bit of a disagreement...I appreciate the grace in which you said your opinion. It does challenge me to think things over. Thanks!

Dee at Pedestrian Palate said...

Someday! I am sure it will happen for you.

Unknown said...

I love your dream! I got goosebumps reading it...It's mine too :) My pile of laundry is on the floor waiting for me right now, and while i love my snuggly almost 6 year old, he's a kicker...

adrienzgirl said...

When you wish upon a star
Makes no difference who you are
Anything your heart desires
Will come to you

If your heart is in your dream
No request is too extreme
When you wish upon a star
As dreamers do

Fate is kind
She brings to those who love
The sweet fulfillment of
Their secret longing

Like a bolt out of the blue
Fate steps in and sees you through
When you wish upon a star
Your dreams come true

Fairy tales do come true. I found Prince Charming and you will too!

Jamie Council said...

My dream is very, very similar to yours. I'm almost afraid to get my hopes up that that could happen outside of my imagination; it just seems like way too much to hope for. Perhaps one day it won't seem that way, but today being Father's Day (and me being Dad as well as Mom) just makes it seem that much farther away.

My only patch of hope is knowing that my son will be a great man, husband, and dad one day.

Mike said...

Not too much to ask or dream for.

Kate said...

I don't think that man exists. Most times, when he IS home, I go to bed, alone, after I have put all 3 kids in bed. Then I wake up at 2am only to find a mess similar to what you described, in my living room, the History channel on and My Betrothed snoring in the recliner. Not sayin' it isn't possible, I guess...but having a partner isn't usually what I envisioned it would be. <3 YOU.

Ducky said...

I kid you not, I was starting to sing the very song Zgirl posted in her comment. I was scrolling down and half way through "...upon a star..makes no dif...SHITDAMNIWASGONNASAYTHAT..."

It's good to wish and dream

Grace Adams said...

I hope you find him, but I'm kind of thinking a man who cleans the house is a figment of everyone's imagination. But don't let me discourage you. I'd like to find one of those, too!

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