Thursday, April 1, 2010

Travelling With the Band... Or Not

Today, I would like to introduce you to Nicole, at Tattoos and Teething Rings...  This girl makes me laugh, and she has GREAT taste in shoes!  Check her out here and then head on over to her place!

Thank you, That One Mom, for inviting me to guest blog. For those of you who don't know me, my name is Nicole and my blog is Tattoos and Teething Rings. I blog about my family, my tattoos, my past and present woes...a little bit of anything and everything. Today, though, I am going to be writing about travel.

For the past 5 years or so, I have been The One Left Behind when it comes to travelling. My husband is in a band, and they leave one to two times a year to tour; sometimes it's in the U.S., sometimes Mexico, sometimes Europe. Have you ever been drunk-dialed from Spain? Not so fun.

Yes, honey, I know you love me and miss me, but it's 5:00 in the afternoon here and I'm trying to make dinner. Can you please call me back when you're sober? Why is that guy screaming like that in the background?

Or how about when I was nearly nine months pregnant with our son and they went on tour in Mexico? That was so fun. I especially enjoyed the pics he would email me of their resort, full of bikini-clad American tourists, sparkling pool, and giant margaritas. Then he would complain about how it was so hot and he missed being home.

Oh, sweetie, you poor thing, being stuck at a 5-star resort with your friends, drinking every night, playing shows and sleeping in until 2:00 in the afternoon. It really does suck to be you!

Several of my friends and family have suggested that I take the kids out on tour with the guys; one big, happy family road trip. That does not sound like my idea of a great time. Let me paint a picture for you...

C, the bassist, will be driving, complaining the whole time since he's sober and has to deal with drunk dudes farting, puking, and being totally obnoxious.

E, the drummer, the youngest and newest band member, will likely be cowering in the corner of the tour van, regretting joining and reciting Hail Marys.

H, the singer, will be drunk and talking everyone's ears off. Loudly.

S, one of the guitar players, will also likely be drunk, and trying to out-talk H.

F, my man, the other guitar player, will be cranky and trying to sleep, knowing that it will soon be his turn to drive.

Various friends that come along for the ride and to help out will all be drunk/sleeping/hitting on skanks. When they return from tour they all smell like the insides of their three-day-old socks and underwear, and sleep for the next couple of days.

So, why then, am I actually considering taking the kids this year? Do I need a vacation that bad?


Unknown said...

lmbo ahh but see the presence of children changes the playing field.. no hoochies on the bus, no wanna be stalker chics and less drunken endeavors with the others , they will want to be better for the kids lol..

Andrea said...

I say you send the kids with them and take your OWN vacation! ;) Kidding, sort of, as I don't think you're that mean to your kids. tee hee.

L.B. said...

Nicole rules!! Couldn't ask for a better guest blogger!

Heather said...

I love Nicole at Tattoos and Teething Rings! I'm a follower of her blog, and LOVE love it! She is a great writer.

Nicole, I think you'll have fun on tour with your hubby's band! It will make some great memories don't you think?

Thanks for this entertaining post!

Tattoos and Teething Rings said...

*blushing* Thanks you guys!

I still can't believe I'm considering going, but I can't take being stuck at home any more!

Desert Rose said...

Ok, I have get past the part where the drummer would be cowering in the corner reciting hail mary's!!! Oh my that's so fekken hilarious! I'd go just for the hell of least you'll know if it's something that you would ever want to do again! You may be cowering in the corner next...that or kicking some booty!

Anonymous said...

Haha! The things us moms will do for a vacation!!

Anonymous said...

I say send the kids to Gramma's and go on a vacation NOT with the band...maybe even a spa and be pampered! I have never ever done a resort spa, wonder if I could be still long enoug to be pampered and enjoy or if I'd need more action.

Unknown said...

Great guest post, Nicole! Loved picturing you guys tagging along w/ Felix. LOL!


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