Is It Really a Road Trip Without a Coke & a Snickers?

Today I bring you Kelley, the fantastically hilarious woman behind Kelley's Break Room. Kelley is going to share with us the perspective of traveling without snacks and refreshments due to tyrannical restrictions made by her husband. ;)

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When Kristin asked me to write a post about roadtrips, it almost made me laugh out loud. We have had plenty of really fun roadtrips as a family, but since we bought our SUV in 2008, roadtrips haven't exactly been the same.


We can't eat or drink anything except water in the car, for cryin' out loud.

Down here in Texas, the famous convenience store called Buc-ee's has a cult following. I wonder if that beaver will chop down wood in other parts of the country and build their gas station dynasty by you. People are always talking about it 'round these parts. It is actually getting out of control a bit. Here are some examples:

"Buc-ee's, Buc-ee's, Buc-ee's. I like Buc-ee's, Buc-ee's, Buc-ee's. Buc-ee's makes me so happy! I kicked Paxil to the curb just yesterday and decided I'll just drive by Buc-ee's when I need to feel better."

"Take my home, car and possessions, just don't take away my trips to Buc-ee's!"

"Have you tried Buc-ee's fudge? I love to eat a slab of it every time I go to the store and then try my darndest to buckle myself back in the car. I never can! I risk my life for Buc-ee's!!

"BUC-EE'S PECANS ROCK!!! I do all my Christmas shopping at Buc-ee's! You're getting pecans in your stocking this year whether you like or not, missy. Speaking of pecans, somebody get me one! Pop one of those suckers in my mouth right NOW!"

"I'm leaving everything in my will to that stuffed beaver, dagnabbit! He's never let me down! When the world got ugly, I knew I could look at that smiling beaver on my mug and realize there still was good somewhere. Even if it was only on an animated beaver's face."

"Kids, funds are low. We had to cancel our Disney trip, but...we replaced it with something even better. A trip to Buc-ee's. Now go find that beaver and let's get a picture!"

Kids flock to this Buc-ee's mascot like he's Mickey Mouse. That is my son in the picture acting as if he's at Disney World or something. YOU ARE AT BUC-EE'S, SON! THIS IS JUST A REALLY NICE GAS STATION WITH SOME EXCEPTIONAL BATHROOMS! Geez, Louise!

I don't know these ladies. I just know these ladies love Buc-ee's.
http://www.stanandlou.com/

People even have fancy shirts with sequins they wear with Buc-ee's face all over it.

 

I just stare at all the Buc-ee's lovers. With great sadness. We always speed past the busy gas station/convenience store going 70 miles per hour and just watch the people outside celebrating life from afar. They all have smiles beaming across their faces, laughing and high-fiving each other as they sip on their Icees, look at their new People magazine, separate their Twizzlers ever so carefully and eat their Honey Roasted Pecans as if the pecans fell right down from heaven. My sons and I just give each other a really sad look knowing that we can't partake in the State Fair-like activities they've got going on at Buc-ee's because we can't eat in the car. We will make stops there if anyone has to go to the restroom or if we need gas, but...not just to grab a snack and go.
Wah.

Sometimes I think my husband's "command" that we not eat in the car is a good rule, like when my friend told me the other day that she has sugar ants in her car. Still, I know the world is passing us by with a buffet of chocolate, chips, Twizzlers, drinks and happiness right on their front dash while we sip on our bottled water.

Are we the only ones who drive around without food or drinks in the car? Are we all alone here???


Kelley created Kelley's Break Room, a humor blog, in January 2010. She loves creating fun content surrounding random topics, like misnamed neighborhoods, Spanish-speaking manatees, and Mister Rogers. She also likes writing song parodies patterned after the Real Men of Genius line of commercials, but in honor of women, and hosting games, like Captcha Balderdash and Name That Job. She is married with two little boys and works part-time as a speech-language pathologist. Recently, she began writing the same type of silly stuff for Nickelodeon because an editor of theirs came across one of her silly tweets. Twitter is her other addiction! Find her at @KelleysBreakRm.